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May 20, 2013
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
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Jewish World Review
Technology is a wonderful thing -- when it works
By
Jim Mullen
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
My computer is blazing fast. They say it has several million times the computing power of the ones that scientists used to put a man on the moon, even though it's only a fraction of the size.
I need all that power because I buzz along at over 20 words a minute when I type, and I watch a lot of cat videos on Facebook when I'm not playing Angry Birds or Words With Friends, something people could only dream about in the '60s. Back then, we couldn't download apps that tell us where all our friends are and what they are doing every single second of every single day. With all that time on our hands, why not plan a trip to the moon? It's not like we have something better to do.
But even with all that progress, we have problems the old-timers never had -- like when I say, "Hey, watch this," and call someone over to my computer. The video I want to share with them will refuse to start. Or it will say "buffering," or it will just sit there as if the keyboard is disconnected. As soon as the person walks away in disgust that I have wasted 15 seconds that he could have been spending on Facebook, the computer returns to normal.
It makes me realize how lucky those guys were to make it to the moon at all. What if their computer worked perfectly during thousands of hours of tests and then, when the astronauts got into space, it suddenly started acting like mine, all shy and coy? I wonder if there's a word for it. The InterNot?
If only it were just the computer. I also have a radio that squawks and hisses every time I come near it. As soon as I move away, everything is fine. It's like owning the world's worst theremin.
I have a GPS unit that works perfectly as long as I know where I'm going. But if I'm in a strange neighborhood full of zombielike pedestrians who are looking at me as if I were a succulent, aromatic, hot-off-the-grill steak, the thing won't work at all. I don't have a clue whether the next left turn goes into a dead-end alley or just a gang-infested, open-air drug market.
Our electric oven has started to act up while Sue's making dinner. She'll put a roast in the oven, and when she comes back she finds that the oven has conveniently turned itself off. There's no way to know if it's been off for five minutes or 30. Is the roast half-cooked or quarter-cooked? If this is a feature on all new ovens, she'd rather not have it.
I have an alarm clock that goes off at 7 every morning -- weekdays, weekends, rain or shine -- no matter what time I set it for. I turned off the sound so that when it goes off, I don't have to hear it. So now it's just a clock, not an alarm clock. It's good for letting me know how late I am for important appointments. Well, not all the time. The slightest random nanosecond power failure will make it, and almost every other clock we own, start blinking "12:00, 12:00, 12:00" until we reset them.
Countless times we have picked up the ringing phone and found that no one is on the other end. Of course, we know it's a computer calling us. We know it because, like my computer, the computer that's calling is shy in front of strangers. That is a shame, because we love to take phone surveys at dinnertime and hear about new, low interest rates from the same people who are now charging us high interest rates. The only question is, why do they have to call to ask? If it's such a good deal for us, why don't they just do it without asking?
Surely the computers that track my credit card debt and run our nuclear reactors and missile defense system are better than the ones that phone our house at night. Aren't they?
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
A bad case of the wedding bill blues
Of cupcakes, teenage moms and crazy nuptials
FOOD FIGHT!
Rolling Stoned
Caterwauling over death of books is premature
Ask your doctor if this column is right for you
Could shopping be any more inconvenient?
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Sorry, wrinkles are not legal proof of age
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The perplexing problems of the rich and famous
Do these glasses make my gut look big?
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It's tough living off the gridIt's tough living off the grid
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The yellow badge of cowardice
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Home sweet homeschooling
Don't Head for the Borders
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Golf and death go hand in hand
Tune in, turn off, unplug
The radar curtain
Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy?
The gift of garbage
Johnny Intern, Ph.D.
Twenty-foot fences make good neighbors
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Hey caller, where's the fire?
My sad cushy life
Pacemaker, don't you mess around with me
Big Brother is skinny
Flight of the snowbirds
This HDTV needs child support
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Poisoning myself
Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version!
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2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack
2010: A year of annoying junk
Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters
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What happens when I forget where Google is?
Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out
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Let me hear your body talk
Working from work
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Chain of fools
Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them
You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't
e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic
A pose by any other name
Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers
He loves only gold, only gold
Think about direction, wonder why …
Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet
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The good, the ad and the ugly
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I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
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Music to my ears it's not
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Fair or not: Country living is far from Little House
A parable for the ages
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
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A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
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Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
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