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News of the Weird: Least Competent Criminals; Last Words By Chuck Shepherd
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Not Ready for Prime Time: Harold Luken, 45, was arrested on April 8 in New York City near a Bank of America after his attempt to rob it failed badly. According to police, Luken walked in at 1:50 p.m. and announced that he had a gun and intended to rob the place -- but then merely got in a line and said he would wait for a teller. When he finally got to the window (with police apparently on their way), Luken restated his intention and, as if narrating, announced the handing over of the robbery note. When the teller refused to respond, Luken asked to check the balance in his own account, but the teller again declined, provoking Luken to walk away and shout, "OK, I will go to Citibank (and) rob them instead!" He was arrested minutes later. [New York Post, 4-9-2011]
"(G)o ahead and shoot me," said Rodney Gilbert, 57, who was embroiled in a domestic tiff with his girlfriend Kimberly Gustafson in Ocala, Fla., in February. According to police, Gustafson, after cocking the gun in a room with several witnesses, then turned to walk away without firing until Gilbert trailed after her, shouting his final words several more times. [Orlando Sentinel, 2-18-2011] "You're going to shoot? Right here," said now-deceased Roberto Corona, pointing to his chest. Corona was refusing to reveal the whereabouts of his sister to her husband, David Sanchez-Dominguez, who had asked Corona several times before pointing his handgun at him. [Reno Gazette-Journal, 1-18-2011] Click here to comment on this column.
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• HUH!? • Zero Tolerance?; Willing to go to Indonesia to cure for emphysema? • FANatic; what a putz — literally! • The ultimate loser; chutzpah X2 • Illegals become animals; When ‘grow up!’ is not just a rebuke • 'Good Housekeeping' for the bomber set; evolutionary hardiness in American drinkers? • In case you are getting sentenced; when a ‘best friend’ betrays • Do names portend the future? • Smooth Reactions; Least Competent Criminals • The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Product Giveaways • Creme de la Weird; The Litigious Society • Ironies • Least Competent Criminals; Classic weirdness • News That Sounds Like a Joke; The Weirdo-American Community • People Different From Us; Least Competent Criminals Not Ready for Prime Time • Yikes! • Change, the old fashioned way; Another ‘Sovereign’ Citizen • Elusive Perps; The Country Afraid of Its Own Shadow • More ‘Can't Possibly Be True!’ • Things that make say ‘HUH!?’ • Least Competent Criminals; Classic • Least Competent Criminals; She's repulsive, they're jealous • The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Not Your Father's Scotch • Privacy v. ‘art’; The Continuing Crisis • Recurring Themes; A News of the Weird Classic • People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals • Economics and witchcraft; Ironies • From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit • Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves • Getting Old, Young; from the archives • Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals • Oops!; Failed to Think It Through • The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker • Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True • Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals • Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True • Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!? • News That Sounds Like a Joke • Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives) • News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research • Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity • Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love • Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments • This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses • Least Competent Criminals; from the archives • Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas • Latest ‘Rights’; Compelling Explanations • One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies • Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives • Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action • Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments • Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art! • Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists • Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes! • Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick |
Arnold Ahlert |
