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Jewish World Review May 16, 2011 / 12 Iyar, 5771 Inspiration By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
When I was 17, I went to Europe with a high school friend. We were idealistic, impressionable, and eager to learn. We were "know-it-alls". When we landed in England, we yearned to see the heritage of Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, and the Knights of the round-table. While on the train to London, I watched every home and storefront for glimpses of this history. It was a noble land, which had given birth to the Magna Charta and endured the blitz. Here and there, I saw signs that read, "Take Courage." A noble country, a land where their values were on display, exalted by all. Pointing them out to my high school buddy, I said, "What a great people, look at that sign, "Take Courage," We should have inspirational signs like that!" Another passenger on the train overheard our conversation and, after a laugh, said, "Sonny, Courage is a brand of beer over here."
The brave, dramatic, and sexy act of courage is highly valued. For some, it is about facing fears and overcoming them. Others start out fearless. It is a primary ingredient for testosterone dreams and movies. Courage is important, but do not confuse it with the equally (perhaps more important) virtue of patience. In his Nobel Prize acceptance speech, William Faulkner said he believed that human beings would, in the end, not only endure…but also prevail. It has a stirring and optimistic finale, we all live for larger goals in theory. But what helps to get the average person through the average day? A good shot of inspiration with heroes and goals gives us that inspiration. That should not make your daily struggle appear any less worthy. Sometimes, survival is winning the battle. Living to fight another day could very well be considered victory. Unless you live to fight another day; it is certain there will not be any victory.
Small acts of kindness and small acts of survival are important. Give yourself and others credit for accomplishing them. Life does not always present us with legendary villains or quests befitting of a super-hero. Caregivers for aging, quarrelsome, ungrateful parents rarely receive awards. Parents, teachers, accountants and maintenance workers do their daily duties without applause. Sometimes we agonize about what we have to "put up with". We tolerate much, and forgive even more. We let it pass. We suck it up, to be a better person and do what is right. Philosopher William James claimed, "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." Author and playwright, William Stryon, said, "Pain makes man think, thought makes man wise, wisdom makes life endurable." Living by our own standards means that sometimes you won't get the gold ring - or prevail. If life does manage to balance rewards and penalties, it is rare that any of us are able to read the scoreboard. Bill Lyon also pointed that, "If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything."
Develop your understanding and capability for patience. Both courage and patience are required if you are truly committed to living by your own standards and beliefs. Accomplishing goals in this world is often achieved by action preceded by years of prior failure, pain, and waiting. Winston Churchill wrote of his "Wilderness Years" when he was out of power and scorned. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt was atop a mountain, pondering his failure, professional isolation, and the end of his career, when he received news that the president had been shot.
James Michner could not sell his writing. He opened his front door one morning to find a package on his doorstep, which contained his manuscript. It was being returned to him from his literary agent, who informed Michner that he would no longer represent him. Michner went to work where his boss told him that he was fired. As he was packing up his belongings a telegram arrived to tell Michner that his "Stories of the South Pacific" had been awarded the Pulitzer Prize.
Even if you don't get the trophy, you will get points for surviving from those of us who know what it is like to "do battle". You can change how you keep score. My wife fought against hostility, threats, and guilt, and battled to honor her mother's wishes regarding death with dignity. It drained my wife. Despite my support, it was a lonely, thankless, harsh obligation. Her mother had made it easier for herself while she was alive by intentionally telling everyone what they wanted to hear; even when it was contradictory. To commemorate my wife's battle I presented her with a golden plate, which was inscribed with a passage from the scriptures. The passage read, "A woman of valor, who can find her? She stretches her hand out to the poor; she reaches forth her hand to the needy. Strength and Honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in a time to come. She shall be honored for her kindness and good deeds. She speaks words of wisdom, compassion is her virtue. She has patience and devotion for her family."
Let others know how much you value them, their courage, and for their patience. Next time you give a toast, consider quoting Victor Hugo, who said, "Have courage for the great sorrows of life, and patience for the small ones."
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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
Confusing Kindness with Weakness
© 2010 Alan Douglas
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Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||||
