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Jewish World Review May 30, 2011 / 26 Iyar, 5771 What are you paying for? By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
We are all suckers for kindness, flattery, and sympathy, so please be warned that you are probably not going to heed my advice. One of the primary motivations for going to Disney World is the assurance that you will be served by people (and maybe a few cartoon characters) who will not offend you and who will be cordial and smile (if not whistle) while they work. A non-threatening atmosphere is extremely pleasant. To actually be in a commercial environment where those you come in contact with appear happy to be talking with you is Nirvana. Most of us are so starved for affection, that we gladly accept any offered, even if those giving it are "faking it". We know the Magic Kingdom is not really magic, but that does not deter our enjoyment of the experience. Self-deception can be enjoyable and motivational, but remember to draw the line somewhere.
When you pay for things such as medical care, legal advice, car repair, or even something as insignificant as a haircut, it is time to draw the line. Restaurants with a wonderful view of the harbor may not feel they need to serve great food. The atmosphere, the ambiance, and view may be worth the price of admission. Eating establishments with picture-perfect scenery may take your breath away. If it is special enough to serve as the right setting for a marriage proposal or fiftieth wedding anniversary, then who would be so picky as to complain if the food was a bit overcooked? But when it comes to the important things, do not become satisfied or distracted by the sideshows. Demand the service or product you need. Focus on what is important.
The reverential respect we previously gave doctors, religious leaders, and high school principles, is vanishing. But when we find that someone with authority actually went out of their way to remember the little people, we cannot help but melt. Just because the Senator remembers your name, or the Mayor asks about your kids, does not make them any better or more qualified to do their jobs. A good bedside manner may very well put you more at ease. And if you feel more comfortable, you will share more with your health care provider. But that is not the point. You must take responsibility for making sure you are treated properly. Select those whom you believe you can trust, but as Ronald Reagan said to the Evil Empire of the Soviet Union, "Trust, but verify." How many people chatter incessantly about how their doctor is "so nice" and "really listens? " Yes, he may "listen", but did he make inquires that covered your situations? Did he respond fully to your questions? Ask the same person where their doctor/friend attended medical school. Ask what post-medical school training their doctor had or what designations they've earned. Those relate to competency.
Before you "fall in love" with your auto mechanic or dentists, know their professional credentials. Check your karma meter at the door. Conduct basic research in hopes of determining what it is exactly that they have done that makes them a more suitable fit for providing you with professional services. It has nothing to do with one's astrological sign, horoscope, or birthday. It is this person's level of skill, and how consistently and accurately they keep these skills up to date. If you get the "don't you trust me?" question, be prepared to answer it. Be ready to feel uncomfortable as you adamantly protect yours and your family's best interests. This does not require you to be rude, but do be prepared to face an unpleasant situation. Begin by having some questions already prepared in advance of your appointments, and be ready to face unknown situations, which will more than likely cause discomfort as well. Dr. Seuss said, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." Want some help? Here are a few general questions which you may use for your benefit.
"If I was to ask for a second opinion, which three professionals would you recommend?" If they respond by getting huffy, or can only name their partner or former associate, alarm bells should be going off in your head. Professionals network with other professionals of the same caliber. Loners are losers, stay away from them. "Although I will consider what you are recommending, what are some of my other options?" With the follow-up question of, "What are some of the more popular ones you may suggest?" Do not look at this as being persnickety; you are simply discovering your options. Based on the professional's "educated" opinions you can conduct your own experiment. Review and evaluate what they favor. Is it what is most popular or is it what would be best for you? Walter Lippman said, "Where everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much." A true professional is objective enough to give weights to the options that are accurate, rather than prejudicial. And last, but not least, my favorite question to pose to your trusted advisor…"What if, your recommendation is wrong?" Infallibility comes in limited supply on earth, so be alert to those who claim to possess it. You want someone working on your behalf with confidence, but you want them to also consider the consequences and alternatives if they are wrong. Optimism and hope can sure make a fellow feel fine, but having a back-up plan has saved many a pessimist.
So if you start liking your boss, employees, accountant, or builder a lot, personally, it's okay. As long as you realize it is personal. Professional performance is entirely about something else.
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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
Law, Etiquette and 5 Rules
© 2010 Alan Douglas
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