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May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
April 30, 2009
/ 6 Iyar
The Sties Have It
By
Malcolm Fleschner
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
When I first heard the news that a highly contagious pathogen was rapidly spreading among the public, threatening to infect a large segment of the population, I admit I wasn't too worried. At this time of year, I figured, who doesn't come down with a case of NBA Playoffs Fever? But once the thrilling seven-game Bulls-Celtics playoff series was over and I switched channels, I discovered that the media had gone absolutely hog wild (ha!) over Swine Flu.
In their initial reports, the TV news programs took their typically reserved, even-handed approach to the story, reassuring viewers that the severity of the flu outbreak was still mild and, by taking proper precautions, members of the public would likely be able to avoid infection. Unless, that is, one of your coworkers had it. Or a neighbor. Or maybe one of the other kids at your children's school. I mean, who knows where those urchins have been sticking their grubby little fingers, right? In which case, NOTHING CAN STOP IT! WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT NOISE? DID SOMEONE SNEEZE? AAUGH, THE PIGS ARE COMING FOR US! WE'RE DOOMED!"
Thankfully, we were reassured to hear that more news would be forthcoming at eleven, assuming we lived that long. Perhaps we should just be glad the TV news shows covered the story at all, considering that not even one young, attractive blonde appears to have been infected.
Federal officials, meanwhile, were a little more sober-minded, with top officials going on TV to tell us that now is not the time to panic. "Once those of us in the government are all safely ensconced in our secret, hermetically sealed, flu-free subterranean complex, then you can panic all you want," was the implied message.
The unfortunate reality, however, is that these days, scaring the living daylights out of us is practically the only way to spur Americans to do anything. Take the Y2K "crisis." In the months leading up to December 31, 1999, experts warned us that unless we mobilized a massive nerd army to reprogram a bunch of old computers, a horrific technological Armageddon straight out of the Terminator movies would inevitably ensue. Then, come the morning of January 1, 2000, we all awoke to find that nothing had changed, except that many of us were suffering from millennial-sized hangovers. The nerds had saved us, it turned out.
Or maybe they hadn't. We'll never know what would have happened if we had just ignored the warnings, and not bothered to go back and add a "19" to the date tags in all those old programs. Nothing maybe. But then again, the doomsayers might have been proven right, and all the world's machines would have risen up in unison and enslaved us in some sort of post-apocalyptic Dystopia, ruled over by a muscle-bound cyborg with a thick Austrian accent intent on destroying our economy and undermining the foundation of human civilization. Hey, wait a minute…
But part of the reason that we have to be terrified into action is that the American public has the average attention span of a hyperactive ferret. Sure, we can get all up in arms about the latest crisis for a little while, but soon enough some other shiny object is going to catch our eye. The Iraq War is a good example. Unquestionably, we are the only nation in modern history to be engaged in a major, prolonged military conflict with a mostly apathetic public. In a recent public opinion poll of national priorities, "winning the war" came in behind "the economy," "global warming," "healthcare reform" and "getting to the bottom of this whole Miss California-gay marriage controversy."
Of course, the fact that this strain of swine flu originated in Mexico only exacerbated the problem, feeding into existing stereotypes about our neighbors to the south. Anti-immigrant groups in particular seized on the episode to decry Mexican pig hygiene standards and called on the government to build a border fence, lest more Mexican pathogens come streaming into the country to take jobs away from hard-working, American-born infectious agents.
But overall, now that the swine flu threat seems to be subsiding, I have to credit the American public for not giving in to widespread panic. We didn't refuse to leave the house wearing anything short of a full-body biohazard suit, we didn't launch a nuclear attack against Mexico and we didn't react to anyone who sniffled in public by pointing and shouting, "He's got it, he's got the pig disease! Kill him!" (OK, maybe I did that, but only a couple times).
And just to show that there's no longer any reason to fear, our government officials are already leading the way, as they begin to emerge from hiding and instantly resume their long love affair with pork.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
04/30/09: Planning of the Apes
04/08/09: No more phoning it in
02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel
02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING
02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead
01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY!
01/15/09: You know the type
01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009
11/20/08: Hotels go for the green
11/06/08: Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
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