
 |
|
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
May 15, 2007
/ 26 Iyar, 5767
More Letters From School
By
Pat Sajak
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
It’s amazing what you can find in online archives. These never-before-released letters from teachers to parents say a lot about the students and who they grew up to be.
To the parents of Harry Reid,
We’re afraid we must ban Harry from all school sporting events. Every time one of our teams falls behind, he starts yelling, “It’s over! The game is lost!” It really is harming the morale of our players. I hope we can count on your cooperation.
To the parents of Alex Rodriguez,
Alex is having an absolutely amazing year. He has an “A” average, perfect attendance, and is unfailingly polite to his teachers and his fellow students. He excels at all his extra-curricular activities as well. Therefore, it’s difficult to explain why none of us here at the school can stand him. We hope you’ll consider moving him to another school next semester.
To the parents of Katie Couric,
Katie is back to normal following her suspension. Again, we apologize, but passing off an essay written by someone else as your own is a serious offense. You should also be aware that we continue to measure and compare the test scores of the three classes in her grade, and, unfortunately, her numbers are down.
To the parents of Fred Thompson,
Is little Freddie running for class president or not? We must have an answer soon.
To the parents of Rosie O’Donnell,
Your daughter continues to disrupt our class with her shouting and bullying of the other kids. (And, by the way, we don’t appreciate her continued insistence that school officials purposely started that fire in the waste basket last week.) I’m told Rosie dreams of having a show business career one day. You should explain to her that she’ll never succeed if she continues to annoy those around her.
To the parents of Bill Clinton,
As Bill approaches his graduation from grammar school, he seems to be unduly concerned about how classes in the future will think of him. I’ve tried explaining that his fixation on a “legacy” is unhealthy for a 13-year-old. I’ll talk about it again with him when he takes me to dinner tonight.
To the parents of John Edwards,
Sadly, we have no choice but to remove John from the school’s baseball team. His play is satisfactory, but his refusal to wear a cap or helmet gives us no choice.
To the parents of Pat Sajak,
Your son continues to demonstrate outstanding abilities in all his classes. He will no doubt be hugely successful in whatever literary or scholarly pursuits he chooses. You should be very proud to have a future man of letters in your family.
To the parents of George W. Bush,
I’d like to repeat our thanks for young George’s idea of “throwing out” the company that was responsible for running our school cafeteria. Admitedly, they were doing a terrible job, but since he and his fellow students have taken over, it’s become absolutely chaotic. We’ll give him until the end of the semester to try to get things straightened out.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment on Pat Sajak's column by clicking here.
JWR contributor Pat Sajak is the recipient of three Emmys, a Peoples’ Choice Award and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He's currently the host of Wheel of Fortune.
Archives
© 2007, Pat Sajak
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|