Home
In this issue
December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 25, 2007 / 8 Sivan, 5767

No photos, but memories just the same

By Marybeth Hicks



Printer Friendly Version

Email this article


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I didn't take as many photos of my daughter while she attended high school as I should have, but as I fold the heaping baskets of laundry weighing down my kitchen table, I realize her entire secondary school experience is captured in t-shirts.


Some parents invest in high-end cameras that enable them to generate hours of video footage and countless digital images, memorializing all of the important events between the ages of 13 and 18.


Me? I appear to have invested in bolts of cotton and gallons of ink, with which was screen printed all possible iterations of our high school's name and logo. We have black on blue shirts, blue on white shirts, white on black shirts, not to mention, enough gray t-shirts to cover the county in a patchwork quilt of school spirit.


If t-shirts were photographs, we'd need a Creative Memories franchise to store them all.


I'm thinking the significance of the t-shirts may be lost on her children when one day, instead of a scrap book full of pictures and mementos, Katie pulls out a box of limp and faded cotton and describes the various track meets, school plays and homecoming weeks they represent. What feels like nostalgia to her may look like rags suitable for a car wash to her children.


Oh well. Buying the shirts seemed important at the time.


I suppose I ought to have had the camera handy for an occasional track meet or one of her band concerts or perhaps the closing night of this year's spring musical. (More to the point, I might have remembered to take the camera from the car and actually remove it from its case). But even if I'd taken more pictures of her high school experience, I could never have captured the moments that mattered most. At least, not the moments that mattered most to me.


For example, I don't have a snapshot of the night she landed face down on the track at the regional meet after catching a hurdle with her back leg, crashing onto the asphalt in a heap of pain and disappointment. But I wish I had taken one when she got back up and finished the race, and later that night, when she cheered on her teammates with all the enthusiasm in the world.

I don't have any video of the argument we had on the day she got a speeding ticket and I wouldn't let her go out with her friends later that night. Thank goodness. Some things are better left unrecorded. Still, I wish I had a tape of her apology, delivered with such respect and humility that I knew for certain she felt sorry for her mistake and the behavior she exhibited toward me.


I never took pictures on late nights when she stayed up writing essays, but the sound of the keys on my computer as her fingers flew through paragraph after paragraph conjures an image of determination and commitment I can't forget.


To be sure, we have lots of photos of Katie smiling along with her pals — hosting birthday parties in our basement, or gathered with her teammates in uniform, or dressed in costume for opening night — but even those don't capture the real events in my mind.


For me, the photos ought to be her scheming with her friends about when to shout "surprise", or hauling herself out of bed at 5:30 every morning in the summer to go running with her teammates, or rehearsing her songs for the play in the echo of the bathroom upstairs.


We're a culture hooked on taking pictures. We parents view our children's lives through a tiny lens through which we zoom in and out to record the magic and mystery of childhood. We don't want to miss a thing, so we record all of it, or so it seems.


But in the four years that end today, I could never have recorded what really happened. There isn't a single picture of the moment Katie discovered how strong she is. There's no photo of her as she learned her capacity for compassion. There's not a shot of her forging her relationship with God through forgiveness and trust.


I have photos of her as a freshman — gangly and thin and unsure of herself — and I have pictures of a senior on the brink of adulthood, lovely and confident and proud. In between are years of happiness and heartache that converged on her character to mold her into a young woman I'm amazed we can claim as our own.


Katie graduates today. I'm taking my camera, that's for sure, and when the day is done, I intend to have a whole bunch of images that I'll store in the computer in a folder with her name on it.


I may even join those parents who get out of their seats and scamper up the aisle to snap a photo at the very moment the principal hands over the diploma. I'll get pictures afterward, too, with her friends and teachers and her grandparents and Godparents.


When I look at all my pictures, though, I won't just see a smiling girl in a cap and gown. I'll see four years of effort — hers and ours — and in the background of every photo I'll see countless answered prayers for the grace of God to train up a child in the way she should go.

Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

MAYBETH'S FIRST BOOK!
"The Perfect World Inside My Minivan -- One mom's journey through the streets of suburbia"  

Marybeth Hicks offers readers common-sense wisdom in dealing with today's culture. Her anecdotes of her husband and four children tap into universal themes that every parent can relate to and appreciate. -- Wesley Pruden, Editor-in-Chief, The Washington Times
Sales help fund JWR.

JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 20 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


Archives




© 2007, Marybeth Hicks