Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 11, 2007 / 23 Iyar, 5767

. . . but can veggies bring back my youth?

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Last week a newscaster excitedly introduced an expert who could - and I quote — "HELP GET YOUR BRAIN BACK!" Talk about timely. I was just getting ready to send out a search party.


I'd like my brain back, all right. The left half, the right half, the part that remembers my glasses, my car keys, the punch line to the joke I heard yesterday, and where I put the coupons I just had in my hand.


I'd also like to get back the part of my brain that sets the speed. Call it a pipe dream, but I'd love to be able to go from zero to 60 in under two weeks.


Not too long ago I misplaced a container of chicken salad. I retraced my steps and looked in every cupboard and drawer in the kitchen. I looked in the garage, the car, on the patio, in the freezer, the washer, the dryer and the dishwasher.


"What kind of container was it in?" the husband asks, standing before the open refrigerator.


"It was in a plastic square just like that one on the middle shelf," I huffed. Like the man thinks he can find what I've spent an hour searching for.


"You mean this chicken salad?" he says. Chicken salad. Refrigerator. Front and center.


My brain. It never writes. It never calls.


The expert said the way you get your brain back is to control your blood pressure, manage your cholesterol, get enough sleep, exercise regularly — and then she said what the experts always say. Actually, they don't say anything.


The camera slowly pans to a large tray filled with yellow and orange vegetables and lots of dark leafy greens.


Every expert on every news show has the same solution. It doesn't matter if the problem is diabetes, obesity, male pattern baldness, your car leaks oil, the airline lost your luggage, or your dog ran away from home — the answer is always the same — eat more yellow and orange vegetables and dark leafy greens.


I'm not saying vegetables aren't the answer to every crisis, I'm just saying when there is talk of the cost of gasoline going higher and the camera pans to sweet potatoes, I'm getting a little suspicious.


But hey, if spinach and kale are a cure-all and will help get my brain back, they're worth a try.


While we're in recovery mode, there are a few other things I'd like back as well.


My waist, for starters. I don't know where it has been hiding, but the joke is over. (Come back! I miss you!)


I'd like my knees back, too — the ones I had when I was age 6. The ones that I could crouch on for hours on ened and not have to worry about them punishing me later.


I'd also like to get my eyes back, the ones that didn't have to squint or hold a book at arm's length.


There are a lot of things I'd like to get back. The cynic in me simply has a hard time believing it is going to be as easy as eating more vegetables and leafy greens.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

ARCHIVES

© 2007, Lori Borgman

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles