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July 2, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The hallmark of a person

Abe Novick: Up, up, and aliya

July 1, 2009

Rabbi Avi Shafran: The Road Taken

The Kosher Gourmet by Marialisa Calta: Get into the holiday spirit with these Star-Spangled desserts

June 30, 2009

Rabbi Binyomin Ginsberg: What makes a great parent?

Caroline B. Glick: Ideologue-in-Chief

June 29, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Beware of 'Caveat Emptor'

Steven Emerson: ACLU pushing for more money for Hamas

June 26, 2009

Rabbi Yoni Posnick: Learn the secret to a healthy marriage from a scriptural villain

Caroline B. Glick: Barack Obama vs. International Law

June 25, 2009

Rabbi Shimon Apisdorf: The Absurd Power of Truth

Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkle's strip: Everything's Relative

June 24, 2009

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Advancement of technology is a wake-up call for humanity

The Kosher Gourmet by Andrea Weigl: Summer on a stick: Making frozen treats can be easy, creative and fun

June 23, 2009

Martin M. Bodek: 'On Surnames': And so, We Begin

Caroline B. Glick: The Obama Effect

June 22, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Working for a corrupt firm

N. Richard Greenfield : Where are American Jews?

June 19, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Emotion v. intellect

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's rare opportunity

June 18, 2009

Jonathan Rosenblum: Sometimes it is more essential to define the nature of evil than good

Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkle's strip: Everything's Relative

June 17, 2009

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Language of Confusion

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Nothing pleases Dad more than a thick, juicy onion-smothered steak. Add home-Baked Potato Chips and …

June 16, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Career v. Careersism

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's losing streak and Israel

Richard Z. Chesnoff: ‘Palestinians’: Never Missing an Opportunity …

June 15, 2009

Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu: How Judea and Samaria can become 'Palestine'

Daniel Pipes: Where Netanyahu's speech failed

June 12, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Some big thoughts about not acting so big

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's High Commissioner

June 11, 2009

Victor Davis Hanson: Our historically challenged President

Mitch Albom: Beware the True Believers

Lewis Grossberger: What we learn from the new Hitler photos

June 10, 2009

Mort Zuckerman: What Obama and his advisors won't -- or refuse to -- grasp about Israel and the Muslim world

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Lotsa pasta: Tips, techniques and (amazing) taste

June 9, 2009

Anne Bayefsky: Obama's stunning offense to Israel and the Jewish people

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: America's first Muslim president?

June 8, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Merchant must take responsibility for careless shopper?

Mark Steyn: A superpower that feeds on mediocrity cannot survive for long on leftovers from the past

Richard Z. Chesnoff: How do you say 'kumbaya' in Arabic?

June 5, 2009

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: In quest of spirituality

Caroline B. Glick: Obama's Arabian dreams

Charles Krauthammer: The Settlements Myth

June 4, 2009

Paul Greenberg: The War Comes to Little Rock

The Kosher Gourmet by Judy Hevrdejs: Splash it on! Tap your inner jazz musician and improvise when stirring up a vinaigrette

June 3, 2009

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Should terrible teacher be exposed?

Jonathan Rosenblum: The Israel Lobby: Missing in Action

June 2, 2009

Dennis Prager: The Speech President Obama Won't Dare Give in Egypt

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Pressure on Israel raises war risk

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review May 31, 2006 / 5 Sivan, 5766

Goodbye to you, Mr. Smiley: Why can't we give up our obsession with happiness?

By Meghan Daum


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | HAPPINESS! Everywhere we turn, someone's shoving it down our throats. It's in pills, self-help books and on PBS specials hosted by bald men in sweaters. Like low-carb diets, low-interest mortgages and pugs (also in sweaters), happiness is the must-have accessory for busy professionals. If we're not happy (or at least pursuing happiness), the conventional wisdom implies, we are asleep at the wheel of the American dream.


I've always thought happiness was overrated. It's one of those things, like living in France or dating a celebrity, that seems appealing in theory but could easily become more trouble than it's worth. And as a person for whom achieving mere contentment (the fleeting, five-seconds-at-a-time kind) can feel like trying to scale Mt. Rainier in swim fins, the 21st century cultural preoccupation with happiness strikes me as peer pressure of the most toxic variety. After all, isn't happiness being hawked these days the way cigarettes used to be? How different, really, is "Don't worry, be happy" from Newport cigarettes' "Alive with pleasure"?


In a new book, "Stumbling on Happiness," Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert suggests that happiness is largely an anticipatory experience. Human beings, he explains, are the only animals that have the ability to think about the future. As a result, we spend much of our time not so much experiencing pleasure as thinking about future pleasure and taking steps to ensure its attainment.


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The problem is that very little about real life can compete with imagined life. Gilbert points out that many Americans who don't live in California think they'd be happier if they did. Likewise, almost all of us who are not conjoined twins believe that we'd be miserable if we were. So why is it, he asks, that in reality Californians are no happier than, say, Ohioans — and at least one pair of conjoined twins, Reba and Lori Schappel (whom he discusses at some length), who wouldn't be separated "for all the money in China"?


There are, of course, as many answers to those questions as there are people who live in California, Ohio or China (and who may or may not be conjoined twins). Anyone who's ever walked into a psychiatrist's office and been asked to rate his mood on a scale of one to 10 has had to consider the fact that one man's eight is another man's four.


Moreover, anyone who's ever turned on the nightly news and learned less about bloodshed abroad than about the advisability of "talking to your doctor about generalized anxiety disorder" might suspect that we're living in a culture where the pursuit of happiness is not only a patriotic right, it's a consumer mandate.

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BUT THE happiness-industrial complex reaches far beyond the realm of pharmaceuticals. On the most base level, of course, are the yellow smiley- face icons that have come to symbolize forcible cheer. As it happens, the smiley face (a.k.a. "Mr. Smiley") — which is often accompanied by the sentence, "Have a nice day!" — is at the center of a lawsuit between Wal-Mart, which wants the exclusive right to use it on its shopping bags, and a Frenchman who says he invented it. (They really do hate us.)


For those whose happiness standards exceed the reach of besotted emoticons, a prescription for a serotonin reuptake inhibitor has become the thinking man's smiley face, the haute bourgeois translation of "Have a nice day." But considering the intangible nature of happiness, the inherent ephemeralness of it, the difficulty, even, of defining it, it bears asking why we're so focused on it. Given the extreme, almost utopian, connotations of "happiness," isn't our cultural preoccupation with finding it just a cruel setup for disappointment? Wouldn't the authors of the Declaration of Independence have been better off guaranteeing the pursuit of contentment?


That might have been more realistic, but coasting along on contentment doesn't grow economies quite as effectively as chasing happiness. As Gilbert notes, even economist Adam Smith knew that happiness, though largely illusory, was the best motivator, "the deception which rouses and keeps in continual motion the industry of mankind." Smith wrote those words in 1759, back when Prozac wasn't even a twinkle in our founding fathers' eyes. Centuries later, self-deception — or at least the uniquely human ability to tell ourselves that we're doing OK — still makes the world go round.


But if Gilbert is right about the fleeting, even theoretical, nature of happiness, it might be time to finally retire the smiley face. What could it hurt to change "Have a nice day" to "Have fun imagining what a nice day would be like"? That might look strange on a Wal-Mart bag, but, then again, if your happiness revolves around Wal-Mart, you've got more problems than Mr. Smiley is qualified to handle.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Meghan Daum is an essayist and novelist in Los Angeles. Comment by clicking here.

05/15/06 Are soft-faced guys really more baby friendly than lantern-jaw Lotharios?
05/08/06 Man of our dreams
04/14/06 Major decisions for minors
02/28/06 Who's the idiot now? Whether it's the lottery or a screenplay, the truth is we're all betting on something
02/20/06 Zillowing hits you where you live
01/16/06 Throwing the book at reality
12/05/05 In-your-face journalism
9/12/05 May Bob Denver, like, rest in peace

© 2006, Los Angeles Times Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate

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