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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 23, 2005 / 14 Iyar, 5765

Tales from the prom

By Mitch Albom


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Many people wonder how the prom began.

History shows that the prom was invented when a caveman named Tux and a cavewoman named Limo met one night, gave each other the googly eye, and then clubbed each other over the head. When they awoke, they couldn't remember a thing, which is still how it works at proms today.

Thus the tradition was born.

Over the years, things like corsages, rock bands and throwing up in the parking lot were added. Also lipstick. All in all, the tradition remains largely intact — that is, boy meets girl, girl meets boy, both wake up a day later wearing powder-blue clothing.

I attended a prom. And I learned a great lesson there. And I am going to share it now with the young men of America, because some memories never let you go. Especially the mistakes.

First of all, before the prom, I had just gotten my limited driver's license. So I picked up my date at her house. And her mother stood nervously in the doorway, waving good-bye as I started my father's car.

And I couldn't get it into reverse.

So I floored the gas, and I grabbed at the gearshift, and my date cringed, and her mother stood in the doorway, the smile drooping off her face, her hand falling limp as a wilted flower.

And I still couldn't get it in reverse.

So I pulled and I pulled and I darn near snapped that thing off, and then all of a sudden, with the gas still revved, the car jolted into reverse and we screeched out of the driveway and I slammed on the brakes, and both my date and I were lucky we didn't get concussions hitting the dashboard.

That is the last time I remember seeing her mother. I believe she went to call the police.

Also, that is not the lesson I wanted to share. Just an amusing anecdote. You will have many of these from your prom. Some will involve bow ties.

All right, then. Here's the thing. I have been reading in recent years about so-called prom controversies. There was a young man in Pennsylvania who, according to the Sharon (Pa.) Herald, wore a kilt to his prom. There was another lad in Wisconsin who, according to the Associated Press, came to his prom in a dress. There was a kid in North Carolina who, according to the Asheville Citizen-Times, wore a tux coat with a Confederate flag on it. This teaches us, of course, to never read newspapers.

But it also shows us that these are not controversies!

I'll show you a controversy.

Here's what happened. After the prom, the girl and I quickly broke up. And not long after that, I got a call from the photographer who had snapped our photos at the prom. And he wanted to know when I was going to pay for the pictures. And being a typical teenaged guy, and figuring the girl and I were history, I told him, "Keep them."

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I have never lived it down.

Turns out, of course, the girl, while no longer interested in me, was intensely interested in the photos, if only to show her children one day (presumably with me cut out). And after I said, "Keep them," the guy destroyed the negatives and there was no getting them back. Hey! I was a kid! I couldn't even put a car in reverse!

Nonetheless, I have heard over the years how much that hurt the girl, who was really sweet and eventually married a good guy. I ran into her many years later and she looked at me with those old, googly eyes and said, "You jerk."

No. She didn't. She was nice. But I still apologized. And I still am apologizing. So guys, listen up. No matter what happens after the prom, no matter how awful it was, no matter how far you roam, if some photographer asks if you are going to pay for the photos, you say, "OF COURSE! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? THAT ALBOM GUY?"

After all, you don't want your date clubbing you over the head.

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