Friday

April 19th, 2019

Diversions

The Continuing Crisis | Recurring Theme

News of the Weird

By News of the Weird

Published April 15, 2019

 The Continuing Crisis | Recurring Theme
trong>• Attorneys in Maryville, Tennessee, are debating the merits of a felony case brought against Howard Matthew Webb, 31, after he -- proceed with caution here -- dipped his testicles in a takeout container of salsa that his companion was delivering along with Mexican food.

As the two ferried the food on Jan. 12, Webb took his boys for a swim while he recorded the act, and the driver laughed and said, "This is what you get when you give an 89-cent tip for an almost 30-minute drive."

Webb is heard saying, "Oh, oh, it feels so good."

The video made it to Facebook, and Webb was arrested on Feb. 22 for "adulteration of foods, liquids or pharmaceuticals," a Class C felony. But three local attorneys told the Knoxville News Sentinel that they don't think the charge holds up.

"It's doubtful under these facts, no matter how outrageous, that this criminal offense could be proven," said attorney Gregory P. Isaacs. "It appears salsa man may have committed an act for which the legislature has not yet contemplated the absurdity of." [Knoxville News Sentinel, 3/2/2019]

Mark Anthony Jones, 46, of Marion, Indiana, is probably in the market for a nice holster after his experience on Feb. 28.

Jones told police he was walking along a riverside trail in Marion early that morning when his firearm began to slip from his waistband.

As he reached to adjust it, the gun discharged and, according to the police report, "The bullet entered just above his penis and exited his scrotum."

WISH-TV reported that Jones did not have a license for the Hi-Point 9mm weapon.

Grant County prosecutors were considering whether to charge him with any crimes. [WISH-TV, 3/4/2019]

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles