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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 17, 2014 / 17 Nissan, 5774

Don't sacrifice too much at the altar of busyness

By Ana Veciana-Suarez



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | When the children start school. When they get older. When they go off to college. When they leave the house to settle on their own.

These were the consolation phrases I fed myself for years during the hamster-wheel craziness of raising children while working full-time. I knew that eventually, hopefully, my harried lifestyle would slow to a manageable pace as the responsibilities of parenting lessened. It did -- but only because the baton has been handed to the next sprinter.

Very little has changed in a generation. I watch my older children, now parents themselves, and recognize with a shudder the frantic quality of their lives. They are forever running here and there, forever putting in hours at work that are nothing short of a sweatshop schedule. One day staggers into a week that lurches to a month that pitches into an entire year. Before they realize it, a couple of decades will tear by, a blur, a smear.

I call it the merry go round of life, young adult life in particular, and it takes courage and foresight to jump off the speeding ride. Few ever manage to do it.

Sound familiar? It should. We are, after all, a society that prizes busyness as a measure of a worthy life. We buy into the expectations that tell us there's a touch of glamour, a hint of prestige if our dance card is booked from here to eternity.

So it was with keen interest that I listened to a radio interview with the author of a new book that delves into this cult of overwork and over-commitment. In "Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has The Time," Washington Post writer Brigid Schulte tries to figure out why many of us live as if there aren't hours enough in the day and why, even in an era when technology should afford us more leisure time, we feel, as she explains, "scattered, fragmented, exhausted."

Or as the daughter of a good friend put it, in a lament that was part complaint, part conceit, "I don't know if I'm coming or going."



This is, as Schulte notes, particularly true of working mothers, a group that has been growing exponentially over the years. Three quarters of those with young children work outside the home. The Overworked Mother has become a stereotype, as much part of our family identity as a van or an SUV. And the "always-behind, one-more-thing-to-do" lifestyle is now a badge of honor.

It's not just mothers, either, though they do the lion's share of housework and child-rearing. I see the stress borne by fathers, too, young men who want to spend more time with their families without being dismissed as lightweights by bosses who control promotions and pay raises.

Schulte discovers, as many of us eventually do, that we are partly to blame for doing too much while also fretting that we're not doing enough. By elevating this frenzy into a status symbol, it serves as both hair shirt and silk sash.

Doesn't have to be that way, however. Many of us have a choice. We can refuse to buy into the craziness. We can refuse to work the insane hours. We can say no to this activity and that commitment, refuse to listen to the endlessly woeful talk about having too much to do in too little time.

But be prepared to pay the price. At work. Around the house. With friends. You'll be labeled a radical, a heretic. In a world where being overwhelmed gives you bragging rights, simplicity and balance are actually harder to achieve than the pretension of being crazy busy. I know. After all the years, I'm still trying to figure it out.

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Previously:


It's not about Gywneth Paltrow; it's about our insecurities and need to compare

Will you love me, granddaughter, when I'm (really, really) old?

We are failing to protect our children from abuse

The story of Marissa Alexander: When justice is blind, deaf and dumb

Why do women 'shop' in their friends' closets?

Mr. Smiley Testing My Patience

We're not forgetful, we just know too much

Why didn't I think of that? Another missed opportunity for invention

When being fair is really not, and other life lessons

Bridging the Generation Gap Has Gone Too Far


Ana Veciana-Suarez is a family columnist for The Miami Herald



© 2014, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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