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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 9, 2014 / 9 Nissan, 5774

It's not about Gywneth Paltrow; it's about our insecurities and need to compare

By Ana Veciana-Suarez



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Boy, am I glad I'm not Gywneth Paltrow.

She opens her mouth to comment on something or other, and the rest of us pounce on her. The rest of us meaning women, namely. Men, I think, don't seem to care much about what she says. And if they do, they're invariably nonplussed about our reaction.

On the other hand, we -- ah, we women -- we're just champing at the bit to eviscerate People magazine's Most Beautiful Woman of 2013, a glamour puss who seems to have everything: power, privilege, looks, money. And apparently, ignorance of how the rest of us live.

Yet, the firestorm Paltrow unwittingly created has more to do with us, with our expectations, our insecurities, our self-judgment, than with her or anything she represents. Decades into a revolution that saw women enter the workforce en masse, we are still fighting the same old wars and the all-too-familiar demons.

In case you missed it, Paltrow opened the door to ridicule when she and her husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, announced the breakdown of their 10-year marriage. Paltrow didn't use "divorce" or "separation" or "breakup," common words with concrete meanings. Instead, on her website, the pair called their split-up "conscious uncoupling."

As in: "We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner."

Sounds pretentious, no? Little wonder comedians had a field day with that weird word pairing. After refusing to use the D-word, Paltrow further guaranteed herself the wrath of many when, in an offhand remark, she told an E! interviewer that an office job is easier for parents than being an actress on a movie set.

Well. Well!

As you can imagine, the response was swift and brutal. Vicious, actually -- and totally, stupidly impractical. A features editor at The New York Post, mother of a toddler, even wrote an open letter that summarized the reactions I heard from others, only in more eloquently snarky paragraphs. Reading the letter, I thought: What does this features editor have to complain about anyway? She's got a decent job, a roof over her head, health insurance and one kid. Many women must take care of much more with so much less.

And so here we go again. Regardless of age, office title or economic status, we're always one-upping each other.

Back in the day, when I was raising five kids and putting in the hours to bring home a paycheck, I envisioned a time when such foolish evaluations -- who has it worse, who can afford better, who is more committed to her children -- would be relegated to the history books. I was certain we would learn from the experience of the mommy war pioneers, from the battle scars of the employed and the stay-at-home, from the struggle of those lucky enough to have choices and those who had none.

We didn't.

Frustrated by the crush of routine and exhausted by endless to-do lists, we've allowed the green-eyed monster of envy to dictate and influence our collective conversation instead of focusing on what's best for us as individuals. As long as we're busy comparing ourselves to each other instead of making our own paths, we're destined to fight this age-old battle again and again and again, a never-ending argument that does no one, not even movie stars, any favors.

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Previously:


It's not about Gywneth Paltrow; it's about our insecurities and need to compare

We are failing to protect our children from abuse

The story of Marissa Alexander: When justice is blind, deaf and dumb

Why do women 'shop' in their friends' closets?

Mr. Smiley Testing My Patience

We're not forgetful, we just know too much

Why didn't I think of that? Another missed opportunity for invention

When being fair is really not, and other life lessons

Bridging the Generation Gap Has Gone Too Far


Ana Veciana-Suarez is a family columnist for The Miami Herald



© 2014, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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