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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 14, 2014 / 14 Nissan, 5774

Password security questions are the story of my life

By Mark Patinkin



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | "Hello - is this tech support?"

Try rebooting.

"Um - that's not why I'm calling."

That works for most people.

"No - I've been locked out of your site."

What happened?

"What do you think - I forgot my password."

No need to take a tone, sir. Why didn't you write it down?

"I thought I'd remember it."

No one does. I'm afraid you'll have to come up with a new one.

"How about 'password'? Or 123456?"

Those are pathetic, sir. It needs to be alpha-numeric. And no less than 9 case-sensitive characters with at least 2 upper case, 3 lower case, 2 numerical and 2 of those weird special things like #&@ that used to signify cuss-words in the Sunday comics. And no characters from any other password you've ever used in your life. Plus, it'll expire in one week.

"That's insane."

It's for your safety. But first we need to verify you're the person I'm talking to.

"I suppose you want my social, phone and address."

Are you crazy? Anyone can look those up. You have to answer your security questions.

"I forget what they are."

I have them here, sir. If you get any one of them right, I can then help you.

"That should be easy. Go ahead."

Who was your first kiss and where did it happen?

"Where do you guys come up with those, anyway?"

Please just answer the question.

"I kissed Karen Goetz in Adrian Anderson's basement during a girl-boy party."

Sorry, that's wrong.

"No - that's exactly what I wrote down on your site."

Our sources tell us your first kiss was with Leslie Starr at Camp Mohawk.

"I distinctly remember it was Karen Goetz because Gary Swerdlow came up to me afterwards and kept saying, 'Whatever Karen wants Karen Goetz ...' Plus - I definitely wrote that down."

Our sources tell us it was Leslie Starr so I can't okay that answer. Next question: Who was your childhood hero?

"Napoleon Solo from 'Man from U.N.C.L.E.'"

Our research into your life says different.

"But my security answer on your site was absolutely Napoleon Solo."

For your safety, sir, the answer has to accurately reflect the truth, and we show your hero was James Bond.

"I mean, yeah, but Napoleon Solo even more. Even now, when I'm in a tailor shop dressing room, I try to turn the hook to see if it'll lead me into U.N.C.L.E. headquarters."

We understand you wanted to be James Bond so badly, you had your parents get you a shoulder holster for a toy Beretta instead of cowboy holsters. And you'd point it at friends before finishing them off and say, "That's a Smith and Wesson and you've had your six."

"But I wrote down Napoleon "

We're in the security business, sir. Your answers have to be accurate. Next question: What is your preferred musical genre?

"Definitely Motown."

Quit trying to be cool. Our research says it's classic rock.

"I like them both. But in high school, yeah, the coolest music was the Supremes, Smokey Robinson "

You like classic rock more, and you know it. So quit being a poseur. One more chance: What was your dream job as a child?

"I know for sure I wrote down photographer. I even had a darkroom in my basement and "

Wrong.


"What's wrong about it?"

Your dream job was to play second base for the White Sox so you could be like Nellie Fox.

"Well, I mean, both really, but I wrote down "

Our sources tell us you were more obsessed with Nellie Fox. You even walked around with eight pieces of bubblegum in your cheek because that's what Fox did with chewing tobacco.

"But "

Am I right that you're most inspiring moment as a kid was when you were shouting Fox's name from a front row seat and he spit in your general direction?

"I do remember that."

That makes your final answer wrong. Sorry sir, we can no longer help you reset your password. But be assured our goal in the online business is to make your life easy. Have a great day and thank you for calling.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Your comments are appreciated. Please send them by clicking here.

Mark Patinkin is a columnist with The Providence Journal.



Previously:

Some questions for our time

Be honest --- what has a cat ever done for you?

'As Seen on TV' feeds my inner-consumer needs

Some phrases I hope to never hear again, and other thoughts

America's promise, then and now, outweighs its failings

Mud no obstacle to fun at 'Stampede' course

Warning -- reading this may cause insomnia, palpitations, swelling, etc.

All-too-prevalent scam attempts draw ire of readers

Fighting the 'something for nothing' mentality

My list of 'New Things That Now Bug Me'

No gender roles when it comes to being absurd

The single man's guide to being king of the castle

Sticking with what works in an ever-changing landscape

Advice to get you through the day

Heinz is altering the ketchup package, and I'm a nervous wreck

Guys need to watch out for sweet-talking ‘women’

I'm afraid to think what's in all those women's purses

I've changed my mind — women don't have it easier (Happy now?)

Here's why women have it easier in life over men

No handouts, thank you, for Michael Kosior

Buck up and take your advice like a man …

The dark side of Youth baseball

‘Nutritional avoidance therapy’ and other crimes against language

I'm still waiting for my ‘Imitation Spit’

It was in France where I learned girls control everything

Hint: Heloise never had an answer for stubborn teens

CliffsNotes for the Twitter generation …

Conversation with someone who just awoke after 30-year coma

When life's small matters appear as crisis

My own private articles of faith

My Dad's still quick with a quip

The trouble with lines … and whose fault it is

Men aren't ever lost, we're just figuring it out

Revenge of the telemarketee

None of Oprah's ‘favorite things’ are on my to-buy list

Even penicillin is powerless against cooties

What's wrong with 15 mice?

Let college application essay reveal the real you

Scientific research has thrown batters a curve

Cemetery visits don't make her sad

For today's youngsters, instant gratification takes too long

No texting during homework? Call the authorities

Class of 2014 doesn't know what it's missing

After all these years, I have an admission to make

Readers write the darndest things


© 2010, The Providence Journal Co.

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