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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 20, 2012/ 28 Nissan 5772

The new star of my husband's harem

By Sharon Randall




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | He calls her his "Big Woman."

I wish you could see her.

She is big, yes, but curvy in all the right places, taller and wider than I am, which is pretty darn tall and wide. But I will give her this: She wears it well.

I wish you could see them together, him and his Big Woman, the way he looks at her, the way he smiles at her, the way he holds her in his arms.

Clearly, to him, big is beautiful. That might make some women jealous. Not me. I'm glad he likes his women big.

My husband is a newspaper editor, a good one (meaning one who doesn't change my copy, except to make me look better).

He was actually my editor for a few years before we were married. Occasionally, he still tries to nag me about deadlines until I remind him that I don't work for him anymore.

More than anything, he's a musician, a bass player. I knew what he was when I married him. Can't say I wasn't warned.

If you've ever had any dealings with musicians, I suspect you may know what I mean.

Not only does he love to play music. He loves to listen to it, talk about it, read about it, think about it -- even when I'm trying to talk about something really important like, well, me.

I see that faraway "thinking about music again" look on his face. He doesn't fool me a bit.

The Big Woman is his standup bass. They've been making sweet music together for years.

She occupies an entire corner of our living room. When his old car died and he went looking for a new one, he took along a tape measure to make sure the Big Woman would fit in the back.

There was no mention of where I might fit.

She is not, however, his only "other" woman. He's got a whole harem -- electric, acoustic, whatever you call it -- basses of nearly every description.

But she is his one and only standup -- or was, until lately.

For his birthday, he treated himself to a different kind of standup: One that's skinny. And loud ("amplified"). And looks like Uma Thurman.

I'm pretty sure the Big Woman hates her. She hasn't uttered a sound since Uma showed up.

This morning, after my husband spent an hour in the back room with Uma, I heard him call, "I need help!"

Not for him. For Uma. She had taken a spill, fallen against a chair, gotten a few scratches in her once-flawless complexion.

I almost made a crack about calling 911. But the look in my husband's eyes gave me pause.

"I've got some scratch-cover polish that might help," I said. "I'll be right back."

On my way to find the polish, I passed the Big Woman.

"Uma's hurt bad," I said. If she cared, she didn't let it show. It was probably my imagination, but I thought I heard her snort.

I grabbed the polish and some paper towels and hurried back.

"Hold her tight," I told my husband, "this might sting."

Very gently, I dabbed polish on the wounds, letting it soak in to cover the scratches.

"OK," I said finally, "she's not perfect anymore. But I think it gives her character."

My husband nodded and placed Uma back on her stand.

"I don't care how she looks," he said, grinning at me. "She still sounds good."

I like to think he would say the same thing of me.

I'm glad I married a man who appreciates a "big" woman.

Who likes the feel of aging curves as much as the skinny, bony angles of youth.

Who doesn't mind a few scratches because, really, it's our scars that give us character.

I'm happy Uma has joined his harem.

But she might want to steer clear of the Big Woman.

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Previously:


Shared family moments are precious, irreplaceable

What I'll remember from serving on the jury in a murder case

When someone walks into your life and never lets you go

Look for beauty

We can't always 'be there' when we're needed

Picture-perfect memories

To love someone is to want to hear all their stories

With age should come at least some wisdom

A story for my grandson

Regretting she didn't help out a woman in need

Post-holiday-visit blues

For 2012, tuck some hope into your wallet

The measure of a time well spent is not where you went or what you did. It's the way you smile remembering it

Treating people we love like the Jello salad at Thanksgiving dinner

We all need something or someone to pull for

Hold on to treasured words, don't trust memory

A storybook princess

Love reaches forward, never back

How to Watch a Sunset

Waiting often comes with gifts

An exceptional book club

There is no guilt in moving forward

Celebrations full of love and buttercream

It takes a whole village of shoes to raise a child

The best stories always tell us who we are

Stop, look back . . . and listen

The great outdoors, if one's lucky, a rock-solid companion

An iChat with my grandson

Lightening bugs and other things make us glow

Each and every Fourth of July a cause for celebration



© 2012, SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

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