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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 7, 2009/ 13 Nissan 5769

Eavesdropping on Gov't. Motors' helpline

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Rrring.

Hello, the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, may I help you?

Yes, my new GM car won't start.

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of the Electronic Ignition-Challenged, may I help you?

I bought a new GM car. It won't start.

Does it start and stop or not start at all?

It won't start at all.

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of New GM Cars that Start then Stop, may I help you?

My new GM car won't start at all.

Sorry, this department only supports GM cars that start then stop. Hold, please ... the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, may I help you?

My new GM car won't start at all. Please connect me to the right department.

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of the Electronic Ignition-Challenged, may I help you?

My GM car won't start at all. It doesn't start then stop. Do you have a Department of GM Cars that Won't Start?

We don't have a Department of GM Cars that Won't Start. Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, may I help you?

My stupid new GM car won't start. It doesn't start then stop. It won't start at all. Please connect me to the right department.

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of a Thousand Reasons Your New GM Car Won't Start at All, may I help you?

Yes, my new GM car won't start.

Does it start and stop or not start at all?

It won't start at all and —

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of Distressed Lugnuts, may I help you?

Lugnuts? Look, my car won't start at all. My lugnuts are not distressed.

Then why did you call the Department of Distressed Lugnuts? Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, may I help you?

Look, my stupid new GM car won't start at all. It doesn't start then stop. My lugnuts are not distressed. Please direct me to whatever department covers new GM cars that won't start at all.

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of a Thousand Reasons Your New GM Car Won't Start at All, may I help you?

Yes, my new GM car will not start at all. Please start my car.

You need to complete the New GM Cars that Won't Start at All Warranty Application. Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of New GM Cars that Won't Start at All Warranty Application Processing Center, may I help you?

My stupid damn new GM car won't start at all. Is it possible in this lifetime to talk to somebody who will start my stupid damn —

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of Offensive Behavior and/or Hate Speech Toward Government Employees of the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, you need to settle down, sir.

Settle down! You want me to settle down! First, President Bush injects billions of taxpayer dollars into a failing automobile company. The company burns through the money, so President Obama gives it billions more.

Then Obama fires the CEO — a president can do that? — and puts the American taxpayer into the automobile warranty business.

I thought that in a free, capitalistic country, a company that makes bad decisions — a company made unsustainable by bad management and overreaching unions — is bound to fail.

When it does, it goes to the bankruptcy court — not to the politicians. The bankruptcy judge — not the president — decides who gets fired and who warrants what.

But instead, our politicians have politicized and, therefore, perverted a natural capitalistic process. They'll be tempted to favor their supporters — in Obama's case, the unions. The government will likely make GM's outcome worse than it could have been.

All at tremendous expense to the taxpayers.

I was a fool to buy a car from such a company. All I want now is to talk to ANYONE WHO CAN HELP ME START MY STUPID NEW GM CAR!

Hold, please ... Hello, the Department of Government-Backed GM Warranties, may I help you?

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