
 |
|
Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Mergers and admonitions
By
Jim Mullen
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
AIG, the company that broke the world by selling fake insurance policies, removed their name from the front of their New York City skyscraper. How much did that cost? The letters were, like, 5 feet tall. You just can't send down Al from the mailroom with a screwdriver and a ladder and take them down. They probably had to use a few guys with cherry pickers. They took them down in the middle of the night so we're talking golden time for the crew. But is taking down the sign really going to solve any of AIG's problems?
I'm sure that as the months go on we'll learn that the million-dollar bonuses they gave to the guys who lost billions are chump change. They are probably spending your bailout money right now, on focus groups to find out if AIG should change their name to "Warm and Fuzzy Financial," "Huggy Bear Enterprises" or "Insurance 'n' Things?"
Anyone who's worked for a big corporation knows it isn't the stock-option giveaways or undeserved bonuses that kills them, but the corporate culture itself. One place I worked at changed their logo seven times in two years. It used to be Big Corp, Inc., and then it bought Colossal Brands so it became Big Colossal Brands. They hired the most expensive graphic designers in the world to come up with a logo for the new company.
The highly paid designers and the highly paid executives went on spa retreats together, they went to trust-building camps together, they went deep-sea fishing together off Cabo San Lucas. After millions of dollars and countless hours of confabbing, faxing and e-mailing, the new logo was revealed. It consisted of the letters "B" and "C" intertwined to look as if they were having some kind of kinky alphabet sex with each other. A business school triumph!
The executives who had spent so much time and money on it all agreed it was a work of genius and they were all geniuses. Then they spent millions more changing every piece of corporate stationery, every notepad, every handout baseball cap, every tote bag and every giveaway pen to the new logo. All the old stuff was thrown out. Two months later Big Colossal Brands merged with Humongous Products becoming Big, Humongous & Colossal, Inc.
The new company adopted Humongous Products' corporate motto which was "Something you ate today, we touched." It worked fine for most of the company, but I was in their magazine division and it didn't get us much business. We had our own problems. Once a year the editor would decide to redesign the whole magazine to make it "edgier."
Incredibly, the magazine-buying public didn't seem to appreciate the significance of our font change from Times New Roman to Courier, that we'd spent millions going from a three-column format to two columns, that the "edgy" new art director (we had to buy out the old one) did not like to read the stories he was designing.
On the headline for a piece about adoption, the letters looked like shards of broken glass. For the article about the top ten beach vacations, the pictures were of rotting fish and evil-looking pop-tops half-buried in the sand. The new format won an "Edgy" Award. Sales tanked. Some other magazine stole our new art director. They went out of business, too. They won an "Edgy" posthumously.
Of course all the stationery, baseball hats, etc., had to be tossed out once more. This time, the "B" and the "C" performed their kinky sex game inside a large "H." Changing the logo did not improve the bottom line as expected. I never once heard anyone say, "Hey, nice new logo. I'm giving you all my business."
While the executives were busy picking logos and mottos, the stock price of BHC steadily dropped. A Wall Street raider bought the whole company for a song, fired all the high-priced executives and resold the company a year later for a gazillion-dollar profit. Members of the logo team were all quickly hired by other big corporations, and are now busy spreading their management magic to other lucky offices. If we all chipped in and paid them a bonus to leave, we'd all be better off.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Lewis Grossberger
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Cheri Jacobus Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Jim Mullen
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters

How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Every Monday Matters
Nutrition Myths
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|