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May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
Mergers and admonitions
By
Jim Mullen
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
AIG, the company that broke the world by selling fake insurance policies, removed their name from the front of their New York City skyscraper. How much did that cost? The letters were, like, 5 feet tall. You just can't send down Al from the mailroom with a screwdriver and a ladder and take them down. They probably had to use a few guys with cherry pickers. They took them down in the middle of the night so we're talking golden time for the crew. But is taking down the sign really going to solve any of AIG's problems?
I'm sure that as the months go on we'll learn that the million-dollar bonuses they gave to the guys who lost billions are chump change. They are probably spending your bailout money right now, on focus groups to find out if AIG should change their name to "Warm and Fuzzy Financial," "Huggy Bear Enterprises" or "Insurance 'n' Things?"
Anyone who's worked for a big corporation knows it isn't the stock-option giveaways or undeserved bonuses that kills them, but the corporate culture itself. One place I worked at changed their logo seven times in two years. It used to be Big Corp, Inc., and then it bought Colossal Brands so it became Big Colossal Brands. They hired the most expensive graphic designers in the world to come up with a logo for the new company.
The highly paid designers and the highly paid executives went on spa retreats together, they went to trust-building camps together, they went deep-sea fishing together off Cabo San Lucas. After millions of dollars and countless hours of confabbing, faxing and e-mailing, the new logo was revealed. It consisted of the letters "B" and "C" intertwined to look as if they were having some kind of kinky alphabet sex with each other. A business school triumph!
The executives who had spent so much time and money on it all agreed it was a work of genius and they were all geniuses. Then they spent millions more changing every piece of corporate stationery, every notepad, every handout baseball cap, every tote bag and every giveaway pen to the new logo. All the old stuff was thrown out. Two months later Big Colossal Brands merged with Humongous Products becoming Big, Humongous & Colossal, Inc.
The new company adopted Humongous Products' corporate motto which was "Something you ate today, we touched." It worked fine for most of the company, but I was in their magazine division and it didn't get us much business. We had our own problems. Once a year the editor would decide to redesign the whole magazine to make it "edgier."
Incredibly, the magazine-buying public didn't seem to appreciate the significance of our font change from Times New Roman to Courier, that we'd spent millions going from a three-column format to two columns, that the "edgy" new art director (we had to buy out the old one) did not like to read the stories he was designing.
On the headline for a piece about adoption, the letters looked like shards of broken glass. For the article about the top ten beach vacations, the pictures were of rotting fish and evil-looking pop-tops half-buried in the sand. The new format won an "Edgy" Award. Sales tanked. Some other magazine stole our new art director. They went out of business, too. They won an "Edgy" posthumously.
Of course all the stationery, baseball hats, etc., had to be tossed out once more. This time, the "B" and the "C" performed their kinky sex game inside a large "H." Changing the logo did not improve the bottom line as expected. I never once heard anyone say, "Hey, nice new logo. I'm giving you all my business."
While the executives were busy picking logos and mottos, the stock price of BHC steadily dropped. A Wall Street raider bought the whole company for a song, fired all the high-priced executives and resold the company a year later for a gazillion-dollar profit. Members of the logo team were all quickly hired by other big corporations, and are now busy spreading their management magic to other lucky offices. If we all chipped in and paid them a bonus to leave, we'd all be better off.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
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