May 23, 2012 Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: Baghdad talks highlight Western naivete Putin's latest defiance shows Obama's whisper didn't work Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts Lisa Gerstner: 4 Money-Etiquette Questions Answered Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You Art Markman, Ph.D.: Get smart: How to bulk up your creativity muscles Israeli scientists use skin cells to help repair heart muscle Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right May 22, 2012 David S. Cloud and Kathleen Hennessey: Obama changes mind on Pakistan invite to NATO summit --- and then gets dissed by country's president US Senate approves new sanctions against Iran ahead of Baghdad talks Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide Supreme Court: Twins can't claim dead dad's benefits Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage Environmental Nutrition editors: The lowdown on a low-acid diet Pomegranate juice maker used deceptive ads, FTC judge rules Relatives outraged over spoof on Hamas chief's killing The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili May 21, 2012 Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security? Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy? Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring May 18, 2012 Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike May 17, 2012 Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine? The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes May 16, 2012 Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks Kiplinger Reports, Summarized Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025 The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques) May 15, 2012 Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES) May 14, 2012 Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims? Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight May 11, 2012 Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON May 10, 2012 Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare May 9, 2012 John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83 Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up? Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors May 8, 2012 Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques) May 7, 2012 Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst? Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat May 4, 2012 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities' Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired? Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble May 3, 2012 Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah? Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby

Jewish World Review April 30, 2009 / 6 Iyar Planning of the Apes By Malcolm Fleschner http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | If I had to summarize, in one sentence, the result of most scientists' studies of animal behavior, that sentence would be, "They're smarter than we give them credit for" (the animals, not the researchers). The problem, as I see it, is that for centuries people have just assumed that animals are pretty stupid, primarily because we've witnessed our own dogs and cats who, when not engaged in lengthy licking and scratching rituals, tend to fill their time with non-Einstein-esque behaviors like ferociously attacking invisible dust bunnies or gleefully rolling around in dead squirrel remains. And then it's right back to the licking and scratching. With such low expectations on animal intelligence, it's no wonder we're always reading about new government-funded studies excitedly reporting that, for example, goldfish can recognize themselves in a mirror, pigeons can identify more complex patterns than previously believed or that rats, when trained over a period of months, can be taught to fill out basic government research grant forms. "This has been a real time-saver for us, as you can probably imagine," the lead researcher on the project told reporters. "And to think some people don't see any practical application for scientific research!" The latest example of this "Animals: Not as dumb as we thought" strain of research comes from Sweden, where animal behaviorists have discovered a chimpanzee named Santino who exhibits what the scientists claim is "human-like planning behavior." As evidence, researchers report that Santino will regularly spend hours meticulously collecting stones and broken off bits of concrete which he then fashions into what the researchers describe as "a primitive sort of BlackBerry." Ha! Just kidding. He hoards the rocks to throw at people visiting the zoo. "Such planning implies advanced consciousness and cognition traditionally not associated with animals," says primate researcher Mathias Osvath. Or, for that matter, I might add, many of the people you see scrambling to get to the post office before midnight every year on April 15. And while we can all readily agree that stones are easily the second-worst thing that primates tend to throw at people, whether this kind of advance planning is so rare in the animal kingdom remains an open question. Why, in my household alone, I have witnessed any number of instances where my cat will sit by the door for hours until he's let in, at which point he promptly throws up on the carpet. That's not just planning, it's actual scheming. Besides, the recognition that primates are plotting against us should come as no surprise to anyone who's seen Planet of the Apes. In this chilling documentary about a post-apocalyptic world ruled by super-intelligent chimpanzees, humans are hunted and enslaved, and can't even be saved from their primate oppressors by a force as powerful as Charlton Heston's overacting. Clearly, Santino's rock-throwing is merely a small part of the primates' larger plan to make the Planet of the Apes scenario a reality. And frankly, can you blame them for turning against us? Any time we're not conducting experiments on them or locking them up to be gawked at in our zoos, we're dressing them in humiliating diaper and baby bonnet outfits or shooting hilarious YouTube videos of them riding on Segways (Seriously, if you haven't seen this, check it out - keyword search "chimpanzee segway." You won't regret it). In truth, Santino is probably just gathering all those rock piles to defend himself in case any Hollywood types show up looking to cast the lead role in Most Valuable Primate: Going Ape in Europe. Still, to be on the safe side, we humans have to assume that our simian cousins have us in their rock-throwing crosshairs, and we need to think about how we can discourage them from putting their dastardly plans for human subjugation into action. The first step should be to show them that we're not all sadistic animal experimenters or weird monkey diaper fetishists, and highlight all we've done to benefit primate species. For example, in the early days of the space program, NASA bestowed on monkeys the rare honor of experiencing the exhilaration of space travel — why, they even got to go into space before we sent any humans up. These early monkey-nauts could provide great testimonials to other primates about the privilege of helping to pioneer space travel. What a terrible shame that they were all either asphyxiated while in orbit or killed on impact after reentry. OK, so maybe that plan won't work. Instead, we'll have to find a way to distract the primates from their plans for world domination. And as we know, primates are social animals, so all we need is a way to trick them into expending all their energy on a completely useless, time-wasting activity. I think I may have the answer: www.monkeyfacebook.com. JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here. Previously: 04/08/09: No more phoning it in 02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel 02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING 02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead 01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY! 01/15/09: You know the type 01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009 11/20/08: Hotels go for the green 11/06/08: Something does not compute 10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances 10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders 10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances 09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria 08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion) 06/24/08: Getting the brand back together 05/29/08: Phrased and confused 05/13/08: Take this job and love it 04/17/08: News you can (re)use 04/02/08: Commercial (over)load 02/20/08: An overdose of reality 02/14/08: A developing situation 01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it 01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict 01/02/08: Our bills are due 12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice… 11/28/07: Out with the old 11/06/07: My latest pet project 11/06/07: Can't tune it out 10/23/07: Something special in the hair 09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please? 09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem 08/21/07: In the heat of fashion 08/09/07: Let's get in the game 06/13/07: You gonna eat that? 05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment 05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy... 04/18/07: No time like Father Time 03/15/07: Deface the Nation 03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have 02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore 12/05/06: Who's calling the shots? 11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level 10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair 10/18/06: You can't tech it with you 10/04/06: Award to the wise 08/24/06: Phrased and Confused 08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99 07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain 05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again? 05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script 04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies 03/16/06: The day the Muzak died 02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home 02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning © 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

Arnold Ahlert  Mitch Albom  Jay Ambrose  Michael Barone  Barrywood  Lori Borgman  Stratfor Briefing  Mona Charen  Linda Chavez  Richard Z. Chesnoff  Ann Coulter  Greg Crosby  Alan Douglas  Larry Elder  Suzanne Fields  Frank J. Gaffney  Bernie Goldberg  Jonah Goldberg  Julia Gorin  Jonathan Gurwitz  Paul Greenberg  Argus Hamilton  Victor Davis Hanson  Betsy Hart  Ron Hart  Nat Hentoff  Marybeth Hicks  A. Barton Hinkle  David Horowitz  Jeff Jacoby  Renee James  Paul Johnson  Jack Kelly  Ed Koch  Ch. Krauthammer  Michael Ledeen  John Leo  David Limbaugh  Kathryn Lopez  Rich Lowry  Michelle Malkin  Jackie Mason  Ann McFeatters  Dale McFeatters  Dana Milbank  Jeanne Moos  Dick Morris  Jim Mullen  Deroy Murdock  Judge A. Napolitano  Bill O'Reilly  Kathleen Parker  Star Parker  Dennis Prager  Wesley Pruden  Tom Purcell  Sharon Randall  Robert Robb  Cokie & Steve Roberts  Heather Robinson  Pat Sajak  Debra J. Saunders  Martin Schram  Culture Shlock  David Shribman  Roger Simon  Michael Smerconish  Thomas Sowell  Ben Stein  Mark Steyn  John Stossel  Cal Thomas  Dan Thomasson  Bob Tyrrell  Ben Wattenberg  Diana West  Dave Weinbaum  George Will  Walter Williams  Byron York  ZeitGeist  Mort Zuckerman  Robert Arial  Chuck Asay  Baloo  Chip Bok  Dry Bones   Lisa Benson  John Branch  John Cole  J. D. Crowe  John Deering  Brian Duffy  Everything's Relative  Mallard Fillmore  Glenn Foden  Jake Fuller  Bob Gorrel  Walt Handelsman  Joe Heller  David Hitch  Jerry Holbert  David Horsey  Lee Judge  Steve Kelley  Jeff Koterba  Dick Locher  Chan Lowe  Jimmy Margulies  Jack Ohman  Michael Ramirez  Drew Sheneman  Kevin Siers  Jeff Stahler  Scott Stantis  Ed Stein  Danna Summers  John Trever  Gary Varvel  Kirk Walters   Dan Wasserman  Mr. Know-It-All  Ask Doctor K  Richard Lederer  Frugal Living  Tech Maven  On Nutrition  Bookmark These  Bruce Williams