 |
|
Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
April 9, 2008
/ 4 Nissan 5768
Charm School for Your Career
By
Marty Nemko
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Joe Clueless (a real person whose name I've changed to protect the guilty) is smart, handsome, and hardworking. Yet he's been let go many times from corporate jobs and now, at 45, is a substitute teacher. MENSA IQ but not EQ. If only he had attended charm school.
LESSON 1: Joe was negative. "This company isn't going anywhere," or "You never told me I should do that!" Even if your concerns are valid, you pay a likeability price for each complaint. When tempted to be negative, assess whether the benefit is worth the likely liability. Don't criticize unless you can propose a likely acceptable solution.
LESSON 2: Joe thought he was smarter than he really is--he had attended self-esteem-building workshops. He stated his opinions as truisms and usually dismissed criticism without reflection or inquiry. Even if you're right, that style unnecessary demeans everyone else. Make assertions in a way that allows for the possibility you're wrong, for example, "I think (insert your statement.) What do you think?" If your argument is rejected, take no more than one more stab at it. If that doesn't work, drop it. Pursuing it further is unlikely to help and could brand you as stubborn.
LESSON 3: Joe didn't let people get a word in edgewise. He'd talk for five minutes without stopping. Of course, everyone thought him rude, egotistical, and stifling of the exchange of ideas. Follow the Traffic Light Rule: During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green: You may speak without worry. During the second 30 seconds, your light is yellow: Chances are, your listener(s) is ready to respond and waiting for you to finish. After the 60-second mark, your light is red. Yes, you'll very occasionally want to run a red light--when you're saying something important that couldn't be broken up into two parts, allowing your listener to respond to the first part. But usually, at the one-minute mark, you should shut up or ask a question. After you stop talking, half the time, shut up, half the time, ask a question such as "I'm not sure I was clear?" or "I'm wondering if that might apply to Project X?"
LESSON 4: Joe had a short fuse, going from zero to 60 in one second. He usually regretted his outbursts and apologized, but by then, it was too late--everyone dismissed Joe as a hothead. Remember that you pay a heavy price for displaying anger. Watch C-SPAN and you'll see the nation's most successful people discussing critical world issues, yet they rarely rise from concerned to angry. Yet Joe got annoyed if he had to make the breakroom coffee.
LESSON 5: Joe was egotistical. He cared little about his customers or his colleagues. Joe cared only about Joe.
Be customer-service and colleague-service focused. Go the extra mile to help your customers and colleagues get what they want and they'll more likely help you get what you want. Nordstrom and Southwest Airlines attribute much of their success to hiring less on experience and more on commitment to pleasing customers and co-workers.
LESSON 6: Other people need charm school because they are shy, depressed, or lack confidence. Such people are prone to passive-aggressiveness, which like Joe's traits, can doom a career. For example, they resent colleagues for being successful, smart, or even physically attractive. They might then start rumors about the person, keep that person out of the information loop, or claim the person's idea as their own. Those techniques usually work for a while, but eventually people wise up to passive-aggressive people's game.
When tempted to quietly sabotage others, decide whether it's wiser to express your concern directly. (See Lesson 2.)
LESSON 7 Often, people violate these rules unintentionally. They work so hard or have such heavy family responsibilities that they lack the emotional reserve to behave as they know they should.
Regularly take time to recharge your batteries, for example, take a few minutes to walk around the building, write a poem, stare at a cloud.
If you think any of these rules might make you more successful, write them down on your to-do list. Keep them there.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Marty Nemko writes the career column on Kiplinger.com and is Contributing Editor for career matters at U.S. News & World Report. 500+ of Dr. Nemko's published writings are on www.martynemko.com. Comment by clicking here.
Archives
© 2008, Dr. Marty Nemko
|
|
Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Lewis Grossberger
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Cheri Jacobus
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Jim Mullen
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
Mort Zuckerman
Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Every Monday Matters
Nutrition Myths
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|
