
 |
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (1 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Oct. 29, 2009
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our
Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
JWisdom.com Why what we wear
impacts who we are
With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love
With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks
With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really?
By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A
Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious
By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things
By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices
By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 15, 2009
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 14, 2009
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: How To Recognize A Control Freak, Part II (A VERY fast 14 minutes)
Oct. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: How To Recognize A Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com: One Small Spark … One Great Fire
By Gavriel Aryeh Sanders (7 minutes)
Oct. 9, 2009
JWisdom.com: Take the Sage of St.
Louis' Challenge by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (4 minutes)
Oct. 8, 2009
Joseph Aaron: What the Chicago Olympics failure must teach Jewry
JWisdom.com: Rehabbing The Thief Within
by Sara Yoheved Rigler (9 minutes)
Oct. 7, 2009
JWisdom.com: Know an 'invincible' teen?
By Sarah Chana Radcliffe (6 minutes)
Oct. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com: A Sage for Our Age ---
and Only 238 Years old! by Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz(10 minutes)
Oct. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com: Harvesting Happiness
By Rabbi Eytan Feiner (7 minutes)
Oct. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com:Getting out of the rut
and into the hut by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Oct. 1, 2009
Barry Horn: A spiritual force: Cowboys' Igor Olshansky takes a fierce pride in his Jewish faith
JWisdom.com:Defeating Your Inner Saboteur
By Sara Yoheved Rigler (6 minutes)
Sept. 30, 2009
JWisdom.com: Strong Willed Children make the best leaders: How to get them to that point
by Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Sept. 29, 2009
JWisdom.com: Sukkos: Journey to Joy
by Rabbi Harvey Belovski (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
April 9, 2008
/ 4 Nissan 5768
Charm School for Your Career
By
Marty Nemko
|
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Joe Clueless (a real person whose name I've changed to protect the guilty) is smart, handsome, and hardworking. Yet he's been let go many times from corporate jobs and now, at 45, is a substitute teacher. MENSA IQ but not EQ. If only he had attended charm school.
LESSON 1: Joe was negative. "This company isn't going anywhere," or "You never told me I should do that!" Even if your concerns are valid, you pay a likeability price for each complaint. When tempted to be negative, assess whether the benefit is worth the likely liability. Don't criticize unless you can propose a likely acceptable solution.
LESSON 2: Joe thought he was smarter than he really is--he had attended self-esteem-building workshops. He stated his opinions as truisms and usually dismissed criticism without reflection or inquiry. Even if you're right, that style unnecessary demeans everyone else. Make assertions in a way that allows for the possibility you're wrong, for example, "I think (insert your statement.) What do you think?" If your argument is rejected, take no more than one more stab at it. If that doesn't work, drop it. Pursuing it further is unlikely to help and could brand you as stubborn.
LESSON 3: Joe didn't let people get a word in edgewise. He'd talk for five minutes without stopping. Of course, everyone thought him rude, egotistical, and stifling of the exchange of ideas. Follow the Traffic Light Rule: During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green: You may speak without worry. During the second 30 seconds, your light is yellow: Chances are, your listener(s) is ready to respond and waiting for you to finish. After the 60-second mark, your light is red. Yes, you'll very occasionally want to run a red light--when you're saying something important that couldn't be broken up into two parts, allowing your listener to respond to the first part. But usually, at the one-minute mark, you should shut up or ask a question. After you stop talking, half the time, shut up, half the time, ask a question such as "I'm not sure I was clear?" or "I'm wondering if that might apply to Project X?"
LESSON 4: Joe had a short fuse, going from zero to 60 in one second. He usually regretted his outbursts and apologized, but by then, it was too late--everyone dismissed Joe as a hothead. Remember that you pay a heavy price for displaying anger. Watch C-SPAN and you'll see the nation's most successful people discussing critical world issues, yet they rarely rise from concerned to angry. Yet Joe got annoyed if he had to make the breakroom coffee.
LESSON 5: Joe was egotistical. He cared little about his customers or his colleagues. Joe cared only about Joe.
Be customer-service and colleague-service focused. Go the extra mile to help your customers and colleagues get what they want and they'll more likely help you get what you want. Nordstrom and Southwest Airlines attribute much of their success to hiring less on experience and more on commitment to pleasing customers and co-workers.
LESSON 6: Other people need charm school because they are shy, depressed, or lack confidence. Such people are prone to passive-aggressiveness, which like Joe's traits, can doom a career. For example, they resent colleagues for being successful, smart, or even physically attractive. They might then start rumors about the person, keep that person out of the information loop, or claim the person's idea as their own. Those techniques usually work for a while, but eventually people wise up to passive-aggressive people's game.
When tempted to quietly sabotage others, decide whether it's wiser to express your concern directly. (See Lesson 2.)
LESSON 7 Often, people violate these rules unintentionally. They work so hard or have such heavy family responsibilities that they lack the emotional reserve to behave as they know they should.
Regularly take time to recharge your batteries, for example, take a few minutes to walk around the building, write a poem, stare at a cloud.
If you think any of these rules might make you more successful, write them down on your to-do list. Keep them there.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Marty Nemko writes the career column on Kiplinger.com and is Contributing Editor for career matters at U.S. News & World Report. 500+ of Dr. Nemko's published writings are on www.martynemko.com. Comment by clicking here.
Archives
© 2008, Dr. Marty Nemko
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Lewis Grossberger
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Cheri Jacobus Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Jim Mullen
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters

How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Every Monday Matters
Nutrition Myths
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|