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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 2, 2007 / 14 Nissan, 5767

War games

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Ha, you dirty American pig, look at how pitiful your war effort is going now!

What are you talking about, my terrorist pal?

Sure, your country has big guns and bombs. You were able to sail into Iraq. But we knew you'd have no staying power.

We have the will to win.

Then explain why your House and Senate voted to begin withdrawing your troops from Iraq.

I admit there's just a little confusion in America about what is our best strategy in Iraq, but we are committed to defeating the ideology that brought us 9/11.

How you make me laugh. Your country is divided and undisciplined. You are unserious. Your politicians are unserious. And your politicians cause my people to laugh out loud.

Teddy Kennedy has been touring the Middle East again?

According to Citizens Against Government Waste, your House added $21 billion in pork to an emergency bill that was intended to fund troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

That's true, but democracy is a messy process. You theocracy types wouldn't understand.

But we understand all too well. Tell me, what does $74 million for peanut storage have to do with your war on terror?

The protein in fresh peanuts gives our troops the strength they need to fight you. The fresher the peanuts, the better our troops fight.

Nice try, my swine American friend. Then tell me: What does $25 million for spinach producers and $285 million for dairy farmers have to do with your war?

Spinach and milk also keep our troops healthy and strong so they can kick down doors and capture terrorists.

Funny! Then tell me, what does $50 million for asbestos mitigation at the U.S. Capitol Plant have to do with winning your war?

It means you should be very afraid. My country has devised a powerful weapon that will explode processed asbestos over Tehran. If Ahmadinejad doesn't stop yapping, he could die from an asbestos-related illness 50 years from now!

Good one, you dog. But your Senate passed another pork-laden bill. What does a $20 million reimbursement to Nevada for insect damage have to do with your little war?

You just wait. At old nuclear testing sites in Nevada, we are successfully mutating the genes of flies. We've created monster-sized creatures that will fly into the headquarters of enemy combatants and bug them to death.

Oh, you are good. But explain to me this: How will $16 million for security upgrades to the House of Representatives office buildings help you defeat my people?

See, Democrats in the House are soooooo eager to win the war on terror, they've been dragging suspected terrorists into their offices to interrogate them. The $16 million is not to protect Congress from terrorists, but terrorists from the Democrats in Congress.

You are a very funny American pig. But tell me: Why has your Senate funded $3.5 million for guided tours of your Capitol -- this will only help us terrorists find more places to blow up!

Because we knew you and your pals would use these tours to case new bomb targets. The tour funding is part of our master plan to catch you in the act.

Just admit it, you American pig. Our strategy is better than yours. We think in terms of years and decades and centuries. We have the will to blow ourselves up. And we will not stop until our will is imposed on the world.

Some of us know this of you.

But your people think in days and weeks. They don't even know they are at war. Your politicians exploit your people's laziness and ignorance to win power. You are weak and you will lose.

We're a little fuzzy, I admit, but I assure you, we will win.

Really? What does $100 million in funding for political party conventions have to do with your will to win?

When we capture terrorists we're going to threaten to make them attend.

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