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Jewish World Review April 12, 2006 / 14 Nissan, 5766 Take it from Mom: Being right takes time By Marybeth Hicks
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
When you're a parent,
it's no consolation that
you're right most of the
time.
Case in point: When
Katie told me on Friday
that she had two papers
to write for her British
literature class, one due
Monday and the other
due Tuesday, I said:
"That's physically
impossible."
She already was committed to be in the school drama production
both Friday and
Saturday nights and to
play her flute in the band
festival on Saturday
morning. Subtract an
hour for church and four
hours for the cast party
on Sunday (impossible
to skip because we were hosting it at our house), and what she had were
approximately 10 scattered hours in which to write two major essays.
Anyone could see I was right — anyone, that is, except a teenager with a
habit of underestimating the time it takes to do things.
"It's not a problem," Katie protested. "I already have all my quotes picked
out from 'Hamlet,' and I know what my thesis is for the second paper."
Spoken like a girl who will be surprised to find herself sitting at a computer
after midnight in a quiet, dark house, watching Sunday melt into Monday
as she types furiously under the glow of a weary desk lamp.
Of course, this isn't the first time she has put off completing a major
project until the last minute, nor is it the first time I've cautioned her about
the perils of procrastination. For reasons I can't fathom, my incessant
nagging of my teenage daughter about time management hasn't worked.
Go figure.
If logic prevailed, my 16-year-old scholar would listen thoughtfully when I
offer insights on how to parcel out the precious little time available to her
so she can meet her deadlines and still eat, sleep and bathe (bathing
losing its importance as the weekend ekes away).
Absurd, I know. Not to mention, I can hear my mother six states away
laughing as she reads this. Apparently, as a teenager, I was similarly
afflicted with an unwavering belief in my dominance over the clock.
I suppose if I knew then what I know now, I would have been a 45-year-old
high school junior. Wisdom and experience don't come any way other than
simply from living one year to the next.
Still, it's the responsibility of all parents to impart our wisdom to our
children, even as we expect them to test our advice to see if we're really
right about things. After all, everyone makes mistakes — even parents.
Children must figure the odds are good that mom and dad are just
overprotective, risk-averse fun repellents.
Not so, of course — but again, being right is little comfort.
For example, I was right about the cost of replacement retainers — $390. I
also was right when I said leaving your retainers on a paper napkin next to
your lunch bag (as opposed to putting them in the case in your locker)
would put said retainers at risk for the trash can.
I was right when I said doing tricks on a scooter was dangerous and
ill-advised. My son gained this wisdom on his own, however, when he
attempted a scooter jump and took out the better part of his two front
teeth.
(I am right when I remind my children that anytime you hear someone say
"Watch this trick," pain follows.)
I was right when I said putting the miniature MP3 player in the pocket of
your jeans would result in a broken — albeit clean — MP3 player. I was right
again when I said it about the replacement player.
I am always right about the relationship between leaving the kitchen to
watch TV while you are cooking and burning food on the stove.
The impact of spilled Diet Cherry Coke on a laptop keyboard? I was right
about that. (I also was right about the response my daughter could expect
from her dad when he found out his laptop was ruined).
The impact of your bumper on the car ahead of you when you don't leave
adequate following distance? Boy, was I right about that.
It's not that I'm self-satisfied about being right so much of the time. In fact,
I would much rather be wrong. It would be cheaper, anyway.
Suffice to say, I wish I were wrong about the time it takes to write papers
for school. Looking at the circles under the tired eyes of my high school
junior, I would give anything to have been the one who guessed incorrectly
about the time it takes to do things.
We all have to endure our share of missed deadlines, capped teeth and
burned bacon to create our personal books of wisdom. As much as I would
love to spare my children the grief and frustration their decisions might
cause them — as often as I'm right — there are no life lessons as
compelling as the ones they'll teach themselves.
That's a pearl of wisdom about which I'm absolutely, positively right.
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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 18 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.
© 2006, Marybeth Hicks | ||||||||||
