Home
In this issue
Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review April 25, 2006 / 27 Nissan, 5766

I just want a phone that's a phone

By Lloyd Garver


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I just survived one of the most grueling ordeals of these times we live in: I bought a new cell phone. I'd resisted getting a new one because mine worked fine, and I had no interest in all the fancy features that the new phones offer.


However, at my CPR course, I learned that a new cell phone would have some kind of GPS technology so that if I ever had to call 911, somehow they would know exactly where I was calling from. Also, the display on my cell phone had been fading for months, and the numbers and letters were getting harder and harder to read. So, I took a deep breath and looked into getting a new phone.


Commercials tell us today that a cell phone is not just a phone. It's a camera, it's a note pad, it's a calendar, it's a calculator, it's a Web browser, it's a text message sender, it's a voice recorder, it's a music player, and it's an alarm clock. I'm sure there are phones that can start your car and unlock the doors to your house. But I wasn't interested in all these features. I just wanted a phone I could use to call people.


I was planning on getting the simplest phone made, and I knew that with my calling plan that phone would be free. (By the way, I believe my calling plan only commits me to the company for the next 30 years.) However, a friend mentioned that I should consider getting a camera phone. He said if I'm ever in an accident, it's a good idea to take pictures of the cars involved. And since this feature was free for me, why not get it?


So, the two main reasons I was getting the new phone — 911 GPS capability and being able to take pictures in case of an accident — were both part of "worst case scenarios." To make them worthwhile, I was going to have to have some kind of emergency or get into a car accident. So, I'm looking forward to using neither of the features that attracted me to buying the phone I bought. Does that sound crazy to you, too?


Before making the purchase, I did the appropriate amount of research. I even learned that Bluetooth technology was not named for a scientist with poor dental hygiene. It was named after a 10th century Danish king, Harald Bluetooth. Learning this didn't make me feel any more confident in terms of being able to make an intelligent purchase choice. However, if I'm ever on "Jeopardy," I could win a few bucks if the category is Danish Kings Whose Names Are Used In Technology.


Ultimately, I put all the research aside, asked my daughter if she liked her phone, she said, "yes," and that was the one I got. If it was good enough for an almost-21-year-old who actually understands all the features and options, it would be good enough for me. Also I assumed that there would be some things about the phone that I wouldn't understand, and now I can just call her up and she'll semi-tolerantly explain them to me. That's a lot better than using the cell phone to call up customer support, being put on hold while the battery's running down, and finally getting someone who will tell me to read the manual.


Ah, the manual. Keeping in mind that I bought one of the simpler phones, it came with an 84-page manual (plus 84 pages in Spanish), a CD, and a 31-page "Quick Reference Guide." I can still remember when phones were black, weighed more than a German Shepherd, and the only thing they came with was a person who was always in the background yelling, "Get off the phone already. It's long distance."


All of this angst was for a device that doesn't get good reception in parts of my own neighborhood and invariably goes dead right after the other person has said something like, "This is really important. I ..."


I know the new phone will work fine, but I fear that I'll still have the two minor problems I had with the old one. It didn't work if I forgot to turn it on, or if I left it at home. I doubt that the latest technology has addressed these problems.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. Comment by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

Archives

© 2005, Lloyd Garver

Insight (Our Columnists)

 Arnold Ahlert
 Mitch Albom
 Michael Barone
  Dave Barry
 Tony Blankley
 Andy Borowitz
 David Broder
 Stratfor Briefing
 Mona Charen
 Linda Chavez
 Ann Coulter
 Greg Crosby
 Larry Elder
 Suzanne Fields
 John Fund
 Frank J. Gaffney
 Lloyd Garver
 Jonah Goldberg
 Julia Gorin
 Jonathan Gurwitz
 Paul Greenberg
 Lewis Grossberger
 Victor Davis Hanson
 Betsy Hart
 Nat Hentoff
 David Horowitz
 Laura Ingraham
 Cheri Jacobus
Jeff Jacoby
 Paul Johnson
 Jack Kelly
 Ed Koch
 Ch. Krauthammer
 Michael Ledeen
 John Leo
 David Limbaugh
 Kathryn Lopez
 Rich Lowry
 Michelle Malkin
 Jackie Mason
 Dick Morris
 Bill O'Reilly
 Jim Mullen
 Clarence Page
 Kathleen Parker
 Dennis Prager
 Wesley Pruden
 Tom Purcell
 Jonathan Rauch
 Celia Rivenbark
 Robert Robb
 Cokie & Steve Roberts
 Pat Sajak
 Debra J. Saunders
 Culture Shlock
 Roger Simon
 Michael Smerconish
 Thomas Sowell
 Mark Steyn
 John Stossel
 Cal Thomas
 Bob Tyrrell
 Diana West
 Dave Weinbaum
 George Will
 Walter Williams
 Byron York
 Mort Zuckerman

'Toons
 Robert Arial
 Chuck Asay
 Baloo
 Chip Bok
 Dry Bones
  Lisa Benson
 John Branch
 Gary Brookins
 John Cole
 J. D. Crowe
 John Deering
 Brian Duffy
 Everything's Relative
 Mallard Fillmore
 Jake Fuller
 Bob Gorrel
 Joe Heller
 David Hitch
 Jerry Holber
 Steve Kelley
 Jeff Koterba
 Dick Locher
 Chan Lowe
 Ranan R. Lurie
 Jimmy Margulies
 Rick McKee
 Michael Ramirez
 Kevin Siers
 Jeff Stahler
 Ed Stein
 Danna Summers
 John Trever
 Gary Varvel
 Kirk Walters

Lifestyles
 How 2
 Lori Borgman
 The Savvy Consumer
 Elder matters
 Fixit
 Dr. Peter Gott
 GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
 Richard Lederer
 Tech Maven
 Every Monday Matters
 Nutrition Myths
 Bookmark These
 Bruce Williams
 How Stuff Works