The GAP store is selling matching polos his, hers and the dog's.
Your dachshund likes pink? You got it.
Your tubby terrier looks thinner in stripes? It's yours.
We humans. What a bunch.
Paris, Britney and Madonna have long been using dogs as fashion accessories. They tote them in swanky dog purses that
can run as high as $750.
The last pooch I saw peeking out of a purse was wearing a baby blue hoodie studded with rhinestones. Oh the humiliation of
being a Chihuahua.
"Marley & Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog," a book about a yellow Labrador by John Grogan, is top dog on
two best-seller lists.
My sister-in-law has a framed picture of the family dog sitting on top of the entertainment center. When I asked why she didn't
have a picture of her two grown sons, she sighed said they routinely screen her cell phone calls. Dogs never screen their
mothers' calls. (Say so long to your spot on top of the entertainment center, boys.)
We try not to treat animals like humans, but . . . well, they're just so dog-gone lovable.
The thing with having a dog is that it invariably leads to all that needless competition about whose dog is smarter. I say
needless, because I had the smartest dog ever. My dog could talk.
When he wanted a treat he would scratch the cupboard door where the box of Milkbones was and bark, "Dog food!" It came
out more like "Wog woo," but only because he had difficulty with his d's and f's.
Now it seems my smart dog has been bested by my son's smart dog. His dog has a page on Facebook. Facebook is a Web
site where college students can post profile information, goofy photographs and random comments. Apparently, if you're a
really smart dog you can maneuver through the username and password protocol and get your own space on Facebook
Meet Max. Facebook says he lives in Chicago and graduated from Ball State University with a major in biology.
Max is looking for "random play" and is interested in women. His relationship status is single and his political views are
apathetic. His interests include, "sniffing trees, chasing squirrels, barking and marking his territory." Clubs and jobs include
"watch dog." His favorite music artists are Snoop Dogg and Bow Wow.
Max's favorite TV shows are "Animal Cops," "Dogs with Jobs" and "Wishbone." His favorite movies are "Because of Winn
Dixie," "Homeward Bound," "All Dogs Go to Heaven," and "The Fox and the Hound."
As for groups, Max belongs to Real Men Go Hunting (Women welcome), I Love Cuddling and Can't Get Enough Sleep. His
favorite book is "Howilday Inn" and his favorite quote is, "I bark, therefore I am."
Neither my husband nor I remember paying for Max to attend college. Oh well. If Max is smart enough to get on Facebook,
surely he's smart enough to figure out how to pay off his student loans.