In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 5, 2005 / 25 Adar II, 5765

Growing confidence is always in style

By Marybeth Hicks

Printer Friendly Version

Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I turned my back for only a moment, but that was all it took. As quickly as you can say "Vidal Sassoon," Michelle, the stylist cutting my daughter's hair, grabbed fistfuls of lovely brown locks and sliced vertically, a technique known in the hair business as "layering."

Never mind that it had taken months to grow my daughter's hair to one length — or that the haircut I had ordered was a "blunt bob."

Without thinking, I react. "What are you doing?" I gasp.

"You want it to curl under, don't you?" the stylist says defensively. "I wanted it all one length — like the picture," I say, pointing to the larger-than-life poster of a model whose haircut we discussed mere minutes ago.

Michelle stops cutting, leaving roughly one third of my daughter's head "blunt" and the rest freshly layered. Nervously, she fusses with my daughter's hair, lifting it straight up and then tussling it as though playing with a puppy.

"Well, obviously, you have to cut the rest of it," I say. Michelle's hands shake as she works her way around my daughter's head, cutting varying lengths into her hair.

I watch in stunned silence for a few seconds, wondering where I'll find the time to blow-dry my 7-year-old's new high-maintenance haircut. Then I remind myself that it's only hair — it will grow.

"Don't you think I look cute, Mom?" my daughter asks from under the enormous plastic tent hanging from her neck.

My eyes meet hers in the mirror. "You would look cute with purple spikes coming out of your head," I tell her, "and your haircut is adorable. I'm just worried we'll need extra time to fix it in the mornings before school." I'm also worried that it will look like wet spaghetti, but I don't say this.

"It's really short, but I like it," she says.

I realize that my reaction to the stylist is leading my daughter to think her hair looks bad, so I pile on the compliments. "You know, now that I look at it, I can see it's going to be the cutest haircut ever," I say.

My positive spin works only until we get to the car. With the chilly air blowing on her newly exposed neck, she feels like a shorn sheep. "It's too short," she says as tears gather in her eyes. "I need you to get me a wig to wear to school tomorrow."

Hair is an issue about which I project my own humiliating past onto my present parenting. On at least three occasions, I endured haircuts that can only be described as "character building." One was a version of the '70s "shag" that looked enough like a mullet to require three remedial attempts to fix what was wrong. It might not have been so bad had this series of styles not inched their way up my scalp only a month before my sister's wedding, at which I looked like I wore steel wool atop my head.

So when my daughter pleads with me to stay home from school until her hair grows back, or at least for special permission to wear a hat during the school day, I empathize. "I know it feels different, but you'll get used to it. And the great thing is you're growing all the time — even your hair. Can't you feel it?" "Everyone else has long hair," she wails. "I'm the only one with short hair. I look like a boy."

She doesn't even come close to looking like a boy, though saying so conjures memories of the hideous haircut I got in seventh grade. That was the time a girlfriend and I walked to Betty's House of Beauty and paid for radically short cuts with our baby-sitting money, leaving some 13 inches of femininity on the floor of the salon.

"Don't be silly," I say, uttering the most useless words in parenting. Crises in confidence aren't silly, but this is what parents say when we're out of ideas. "Your friends will love your hair, and besides, the only one who has to like it is you."

Visions of the "pixie" haircut I endured in third grade flood my consciousness. The style, inspired by '60s model Twiggy, is immortalized in my school photo. It's an image that suggests I had been playing with scissors.

A vague sense of discomfort causes me to indulge my daughter's hair anxiety a little longer. Then I say, "If you eat a lot of vegetables, it will grow more quickly." Why not use this event to my advantage, after all?

The next day, she checks her look in the rearview mirror before dragging her backpack out of the van. "Here goes," she says as she braces herself for what she's sure will be a difficult day.

Of course, her fears are unfounded. When I pick her up at 3, she skips to the van, her new hairstyle bouncing beautifully. "Everyone loved my hair," she says, beaming.

"See?" I say in my best I-told-you-so voice. "What did I tell you?"

"Actually, Mom, you told me not to worry because it will grow back," she says. "But I'm not worried because I like my hair."

What I said was that she is growing all the time — through an unexpected haircut or maybe because of one.

It turns out that with a blow dryer and a styling brush, Michelle was right. My daughter's hair curls under in the cutest bob, framing her face perfectly.

Then again, when she smiles, nobody notices her hair anyway.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 17 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2005, Marybeth Hicks