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News of the Weird: People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals By Chuck Shepherd
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Although police in Mount Vernon, Ohio, aren't sure of the motive, they know (according to records made public in February) that the murderer-kidnapper Matthew Hoffman was arrested in November in a living room piled 3 feet high with leaves and a bathroom containing 110 bags of leaves attached to the walls. Hoffman, an unemployed tree-trimmer, later confessed to the kidnap and rape of a 13-year-old girl (whom he kept in a basement on a pallet of leaves) and had stuffed the bodies of his three murder victims in a hollow tree. An expert on serial killers told ABC News that trees might have given Hoffman comfort, but police haven't discounted that the leaves were there merely to help him later torch the house. [Columbus Dispatch, 2-9-2011]
Jose Demartinez, 35, was hospitalized in Manchester, N.H., in January. With police in pursuit, he had climbed out a hotel window using tied-together bed sheets, but they came undone, and he fell four stories. [WMUR-TV (Manchester), 1-10-2011] Detected burglarizing a house in Summerfield, Fla., in January, Laird Butler fled through a window but not from police. The homeowner's dog had frightened Butler, who crashed through the glass, cut himself badly, and bled to death in a neighbor's yard. [WESH- TV (Orlando), 1-5-2011] Kevin Funderburk, 25, was charged with sexual assault of a 71-year-old woman in her Hutchinson, Kan., home in December. By the time his mug shot was taken, he was in a neck brace -- from the victim's frying-pan-swinging defense. [Hutchinson News, 12-15-2010] Click here to comment on this column.
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• Economics and witchcraft; Ironies • From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit • Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves • Getting Old, Young; from the archives • Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals • Oops!; Failed to Think It Through • The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker • Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True • Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals • Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True • Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!? • News That Sounds Like a Joke • Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives) • News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research • Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity • Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love • Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments • This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses • Least Competent Criminals; from the archives • Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas • Latest ‘Rights’; Compelling Explanations • One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies • Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives • Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action • Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments • Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art! • Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists • Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes! • Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick |
Arnold Ahlert |
