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Jewish World Review March 7, 2011 / 1 Adar II, 5771 Swearing, Shoes, and Mark Twain By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
In 1906, Mark Twain told the audience in Carnegie Hall that since everyone swears we shouldn't feel that bad about doing it, especially around tax time. He added, "For it is not the word that is the sin, it is the spirit back of the word." I think Twain got it wrong.
In 2011, an audience composed of billions of people around the world heard an acceptance speech by one of the Academy Award winners that included a bleeped out, "F*ck", and the movie winning Best Picture, "The Kings Speech" contains a therapeutic session for stammering with a series of curse and swear words. The film is being reissued without the worst words and will be given a rating that allows young people to see the movie.
For the purposes of this article I shall use the exculpatory asterisk, a silly, but socially acceptable symbol. The use of an asterisk or a dash shows respect, but it also insures misadventure. It is like telling someone, "Don't think of a pink elephant," knowing you just tricked them into visualizing a colorful pachyderm. One of my friends is a Fundamentalist Christian who didn't want his children bombarded with television programs mentioning sex. He installed software on this television that changes the audio so each time anyone says, "sex" the television says "kisses." He feels better, but I am sure his kids see pink elephants. My use of asterisk is only marginally different than my friend's use of software.
Twain commented in his speech that students should be taught there are public and private moral codes. Political morality doesn't really exist, according to Twain, we vote for the party slate, the conservative candidate or the one that supports/opposes abortion regardless of their competency or character. Twain found all of this hypocritical, but I don't.
You are asked in other cultures to remove your shoes prior to entering someone's home or their religious sanctuary. To American Judeo-Christian tourists these customs may appear antiquated. But it is really about creating an environment of respect. Imagine someone visiting your home, walking into your bedroom, taking off their shoes and placing them on your bed. By now you are shuddering, with visions of sticky Men's Room floors invading where you sleep. This is a repulsive act not just due to hygiene but because it is invasive. I think we create distinctions for public, private, and sacred places where shoes and swearing do not belong. While Twain found these distinctions between public, private and sacred behavior hypocritical I find them comforting. These rules, etiquette, and religious practices give me some guidance as to proper conduct and respect. But I do realize it leads to problems.
Many years ago I was dating a beautiful Southern Belle who was very modern, but had strict rules of etiquette as to how a "Gentleman" and a "Lady" conducted themselves. I picked the young lady up from her apartment one fine summer evening, opened and held her front door. I was escorting her to my car when she suddenly looked down and screamed, "Oh Sh*t !!! I just stepped in doggie doo doo." She made clear that my immediate, non-stop laughter was an unforgivable violation of Southern Chivalry and conduct unbecoming a true Gentleman.
Twain does have a point about judging swearing based upon motive, not words. In his autobiography (the current humongous sized Volume 1version edited by Harriet Elinor Smith) he tells the story of when the Reverend Charley Stowe's little boy of seven accompanied his father to the Chicago Convention of Congregational clergymen. Reverend Stowe warned his son that, "We shall be the guest of a clergyman, there will be other guests - clergymen and their wives - and you must be careful to let those people see by your walk and conversation that you are of a godly household. Be very careful about this." The child was eager to please his father. When they sat down to eat breakfast in the Chicago clergyman's house the first morning the boy asked, in the meekest, and most reverent way, to the lady opposite him, "Please, won't you, for Christ's sake, pass the butter?"
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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
How my poor man's Porsche, Virgil, prepared me for life
© 2010 Alan Douglas
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