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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 24, 2011 / 18 Adar II, 5771

Writer is hosed by mixed message

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I have never completely understood those elaborate bathroom showers with six, seven and eight nozzles shooting out from the walls in shower stalls the size of a two-car garage. These aren't just walk-in showers, they are drive-thrus.

We stayed at a hotel recently that had a quasi-fancy shower. It wasn't the kind of shower you could drive a diesel truck through or hose off a Clydesdale in, but it was a definite nod toward luxury. The dual shower head featured a nozzle mounted high for shampooing and another nozzle halfway down the wall where you could bang your head on it and knock yourself unconscious if you dropped the shampoo and forgot a nozzle was jutting out from the wall. Both nozzles had adjustable spray settings ranging from fire hose agony to gentle jungle mist.

Mounted on the wall next to the shower was a pretty plaque from the hotel management inviting you to indulge in the luxury and comfort of the specialty dual head shower nozzle installed for your pleasure. Then there were pictures of water drops. Below the water drops, on the bottom half of the plaque, was another message from management asking you to consider not using the second showerhead to help conserve water and save the planet.

I invited other family members also staying at the hotel into the room to see if they, too, had the same kind of shower that invited you to use it and then asked you not to. Before long, four of us were crowded into the bathroom analyzing the shower and the plaque.

"Who installs a fancy showerhead and then asks people not to use it?"

"It's like giving you an SUV and telling you not to drive it."

"Who's giving away SUV's?"

And the discussion pretty well deteriorated from there.

The shower offered a mixed message to which there was only one response: Use the deluxe dual showerhead if you must, but please have the decency to feel guilty about it later.

We do it all the time. We buy the magazine with the picture of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting on the cover along with a teaser about an exercise guaranteed to flatten your stomach in only 10 minutes a day. Obviously, we buy the magazine to flatten our abs, but then find ourselves sitting at the table picking carrot cake crumbs from a now empty plate. Like the exercise we read about somehow cancels out the cake.

We want the luxury of chocolate without calories, cream without cholesterol and late nights without next-day fatigue. We want endless streams of water without a thought for tomorrow, the Pottery Barn house without the price tag and the wonderful relationship without exerting any effort.

I have no idea how you can enjoy the luxury without paying the price. Nor have I figured out how to indulge today without paying for it tomorrow. We have an entire country that hasn't figured that one out.

Until someone does solve the riddle, shower responsibly.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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