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Jewish World Review
March 3, 2011
/ 27 Adar I, 5771
Hair-raising thought: President Trump
I'm warming to the idea of Donald Trump throwing his hair in the ring for president.
The man is a financial wonder. In addition to developing a lengthy and successful career as a real estate developer, creating Trump University, Trump Ice Cream Parlor and Trump Bar, the man even sells his own fragrance. A lot of men have a fragrance, but how many can put it in a bottle and sell it?
Watching Trump make a run for office could be a refreshing change from the other candidates who invariably grew up "poor," wear plaid flannel shirts on weekends when they go back home to split wood, chat with common folks at the local diner, and throw sticks for the rented yellow labs.
The Donald doesn't do down-home. He wears his own signature line of shirts, ties, watches and accessories, drinks his own bottled Trump Ice spring water and eats Trump steaks. The man is confident. Case in point: he is the author of 14 books, all but three of which prominently bear his name in the title.
This is not a man dogged by insecurity. Clearly he does not stand in front of the mirror every morning and ask, "Does this hair make my head look big?"
Trump would bring new creativity to the White House. When warring political factions reach an impasse, he could divide them into two teams, have them square off in a 48-hour competition where each team must open a doggie bakery, publicizing it using only bicycles, battery-powered bullhorns and unemployed Hooters waitresses. Winners of the competition would get to keep their legislative earmarks and losers would have to resign cherished committee positions.
If the Donald as president wanted to give a representative the cold shoulder, he could force the maverick voter to wait with one of his eerie receptionists from "The Apprentice" who never type or take a message or blink or move, but every once in awhile robotically pick up the phone to say, "Yes, Mr. Trump."
On the downside, he might appoint his children who appear with him on "The Apprentice" to cabinet positions. On the show they mostly stand around utterly mute, scoping out rooms without moving their necks. Come to think of it, there could be a place for them in intelligence.
There is also the danger he could appoint his celebrity friends to high places. Still, I can't say that Secretary of the Interior Martha Stewart doesn't have an easy ring.
Naturally, there have would be a few changes. Hail to the Chief would change to Hair to the Chief and Trump would have to keep his distance from the presidential helicopter. The updraft of the chopper blades could lift him by the hair and take him airborne.
The best thing about having Trump as president is that he could arrange a meeting with all the world leaders that dog our nation and our nation's allies, seat them at a regal mahogany table in a boardroom, tilt his head, narrow his eyes, point his finger and say, "You're FIRED!"
It beats bowing.
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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.
© 2009, Lori Borgman