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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Money-making ideas on the fly

By Jim Mullen




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I don't know why it's taken so long but based on a recent trip I took (first piece of luggage $20, second piece, $45), it's pretty obvious that the airlines have finally figured out that the passengers are the problem with their business model.


"You know what we're doing wrong?" I can hear the CEO of Amalgamated Consolidated Air say at a board meeting. "We're treating these people like they're royalty. We give them big luxurious seats, a fold-down tray and then we pamper them with half a can of free soda and a miniature bag of peanuts. Where else would you get that kind of a deal for $1,100 a head?


"Who do they think they are, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip? All we do is give, give, give, and they take advantage of our good nature. Where else would you get all that service for free?"


"By 'free' you mean 'pay through the nose,' don't you?" says his chief financial officer. "If you're going to quibble over every little word, we'll never get anything done. What I'm saying is that they're paying for the seat, not all the little extras we give them like windows, recycled air and working toilets. That stuff cost a fortune, and we're just giving it away."


"So you're thinking of pay toilets?"


"Not until you just mentioned it, but I like it. I like it a lot. Give yourself a million-dollar raise. And give me a two-million-dollar raise. You know that oxygen mask that drops down in case of an emergency? Not any more. Not until you put a ten-dollar bill into a slot on the back of the seat in front of you."


"Did I tell you that our revenue is down because once we started charging $25 for each piece of luggage, people really cut back on it," the CFO says.


"Can we charge them for not taking luggage? Like a night club with a two-drink minimum?"


"But we don't want them to bring their luggage."


"OK, I've just had a brainstorm. Make it $100 for two pieces of luggage, $50 for no luggage. Do I smell a bonus?"

Letter from JWR publisher


"Why can't they just take the corporate jet the way we do? I wouldn't fly coach on one of our planes on a bet."


"Oh please, I don't even want to think about it. Cattle veal get more leg room. And better feed."


"If only people would stop taking things like clothes and toothbrushes with them on business trips and vacations, it would make things so much easier. Why don't they just leave all their stuff at home and buy new clothes when they get to wherever they're going, like we do? Why take golf clubs and skis with you? Just buy new ones and leave them in the hotel for the next guy. Pretty soon, no one would have to take anything anywhere."


"That's right. When you book a hotel room, you don't bring your own bed and sheets and TV. No one expects you to bring your own. So why doesn't every hotel room have a desktop computer and a closet full of clothes in your size? It would save us a ton of money."


"And if nobody took luggage, we could get rid of the baggage carousel and put something down there that would generate revenue. Like a casino."


"I like it! Casino Air. It'd be the best thing since riverboat gambling. Look into that, see if we can put slot machines in every seat. Is it legal to gamble eight miles over a state? We could even let them bet on whether their flight will be canceled due to weather or equipment failure, or by how many minutes they'll miss their connecting flight."


"You know what's strange? Here we are in the airline business and the only thing we don't make money on is the flying. We lose billions and billions of dollars year after year. Why are we doing it? Why don't we sell the whole thing and get into a business that makes money?"


"But I do make money."


"I mean for the business, not for yourself."


"What are you? A communist? I didn't get to be where I am today by making money. I don't know anything about that. I'm a CEO, not a miracle worker."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


Collecting and hoarding
Chain of fools
Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them
You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't
e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic
A pose by any other name
Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers
‘He loves only gold, only gold’
Think about direction, wonder why …
Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet
More like ‘wack’ Friday
The good, the ad and the ugly
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’
A parable for the ‘ages’
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



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