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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Collecting karma

By Jim Mullen


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I got a letter from a collection agency representing one of my doctors. One of my many, many doctors. Let's see, they can open your chest and transplant your heart, they can reattach your arm, they can drill a hole in your head and remove a brain tumor, but they can't send out a bill in a timely fashion? If the billing department practiced surgery, they'd reattach your heart to your arm and insert brain tumors into your head.


The bill I got was for a
frangiomicodebluepulmintisismialrhemstaccardioheumictomy, date of service four years ago. There were absolutely no hints or clues as to what this procedure might have been or what it was for, no explanation for why my insurance didn't pay for it. More important, did it cure me? Of what? And if it didn't work, should I still pay the bill?


If anyone but a doctor or a hospital had sent me a bill like that, I'd laugh in their face. First of all, what is a
frangiomicodebluepulmintisismialrhemstaccardioheumictomy, and how do I even know I got one? Can't they figure out a way to say whatever this is in English? I wonder now how many bills I've paid over the years for things that they just made up? It took years of arm-twisting to finally get credit card companies and lawyers to write contracts in plain English. And they do. In type so small you can fit 60 pages of it on a micro-dot. If I ever want to smuggle secret documents, I know right where to go. My credit card company. Not that the plain-English contracts did any good; they say exactly what they used to say when they were written in High Lawyer. "In case anything goes wrong, it's not our fault, it's yours. Sign this or we'll come to your house and tease your pets."


Like the French, doctors have a different word for everything. I remember mine saying, "You've had a mild infarction," and I said, "That's funny, I thought it felt just like a heart attack." Why can't they speak English?


In plain English, a doctor's bill should say, "For sticking one gloved finger where it didn't belong — $645.82."


"For that blood test where they had to poke you four times before they found a vein — $112.82."


"For taking some blood out of you, mixing it with nuclear waste, then injecting it back into your body to see what your lower frastallicmatzroid looks like — $2367.81."


"For the guy who analyzes frastallicmatzroid test — $1,744.19."


"For frastallicmatzroid technician — $1,109.84."


If my credit card statement had a charge for a
frangiomicodebluepulmintisismialrhemstaccardioheumictomy procedure, I'd call their fraud unit in a heartbeat, but if it comes from the doctor's office, we pay it. But, apparently, there was a bill I didn't pay. To add insult to injury, they put my account in collection for $60 and change. These were the same people who have received hundreds of thousands of dollars from my insurance company and me over the years. Where's the note that says, "Thanks, we appreciate all your business. Keep smoking and drinking and eating that junk food you like so much, it's putting our kids through Harvard Med. Your friends on the crash cart. P.S. Keep the 60 bucks."? I think I should have been rewarded for being a repeat customer, not penalized. I should have been getting a volume discount. I should have been getting Reward Points. I should be getting a card that says "Spend 10 nights at County General and get the 11th night free!" I spent $600 with my mechanic last year and he sent me a Christmas card. I spent $100,000 at my doctor's hospital and I get a note from a collection agency.


Thanks, Doc. Hope you never get sick.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



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