In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 27, 2009 / 2 Nisan 5769

Missing letters rub the wrong way

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A journalism student asked to shadow me for a day at my home office to see what it is like to be a columnist. I told her it was in her best interest not to. "Fifteen is too young to die and watching me work all day could kill you."

"Is it dangerous work?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "Sometimes it is so boring I put myself to sleep and fall off my chair."

What's to watch? I sit and stare at a computer screen and my fingers fly across a keyboard. The only three-alarm excitement is when someone violates my computer keyboard as happened last week.

My fingers fly across the keyboard so much that a number of the letters on the keys have worn off. This does not bother me. What bothers me is that I failed to become the fastest typist in high school. The fastest typist at our school broke the 100 words-per-minute barrier. On a manual typewriter. With a manual carriage return that weighed more than the family car. Girls were stronger in those days.

On a manual typewriter you were taught to strike the keys quickly like your fingers were hammers. The teacher stood at the front of the class yelling, "F! J! D! K!" and students hammered the keys on cue: BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

In college, underclass journalism students worked on ancient refurbished Underwood Five typewriters that you had to strike so hard you could dislocate your knuckles. Fortunately, there were paramedics on standby. It was not uncommon for the university to lose six and seven students a day.

Meanwhile, IBM Selectrics -- the Cadillac of electric typewriters were coming into vogue. The brave new world was upon us. They had express back keys, little metal balls you could switch out to change the font and were sensitive to the touch.

Computer keyboards are a hundred times more sensitive to the touch. But when you learned by the hammer method, your ways do not change quickly.

A kid was once in our kitchen when I was working, poked his head around the corner and said, "Wow! You must have learned on a manual."

"How so?" I asked.

"You really pound those keys."

"Yes, I beat them to death, son. Now get back in the kitchen." And kids wonder why I don't want them hanging around watching me work.

When some people work on a computer, you can barely hear their fingers brushing the keys. I am not one of them. I am an annoyance in coffee shops, libraries and airports. Because I still tend toward the hammer method, many of the letters have worn off the keys.

Last week I was horrified to see that a vandal had taken a black Sharpie and written the missing letters on my M, N, L, E and R keys.

"Call the police!" I shouted. "Someone has broken in and violated my keyboard!"

"No one violated your keyboard," the husband said. "I was being helpful."

The husband, as you probably guessed, graduated from the Hunt and Peck Academy.

Once I stopped hyperventilating, I realized he was only trying to be helpful. However, the Sharpie residue now transfers to my fingertips each time I type making it look like I have just returned from a police booking downtown.

I have confiscated all the markers and hidden them in my desk. There's only so much excitement anyone who sits at a keyboard all day can take.

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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.


© 2009, Lori Borgman