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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 21, 2007 / 2 Nissan, 5767

Kids say the damingest things

By Lenore Skenazy


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | ITEM: "I have problems with my father. But that doesn't mean he won't make a great president." Andrew Giuliani on ABC

Ah, how sharper than a serpent's tooth is an ungrateful child — especially one who talks to the press. But take heart, Rudy. Surprising new archeological evidence shows that children have been dissing their powerful parents since time began, as these artifacts suggest:

"I have problems with my father," said Calli, eldest daughter of Caligula and a scratch beheader herself. "But that doesn't mean he wouldn't make a great bloodthirsty madman." — Recently unearthed shard of "Rome Today"

"This is a family matter and I hope you'll respect my privacy and YEEEE-HAH!" — Shard of the next day's "Rome Today." The article seems to have ended there.

"Daddy's mean!" begins a hieroglyphic scroll now definitively attributed to Tutty, the princess who was just 6 when her father was negotiating with Moses. "He told me no more frogs. I begged him 'PLEEEEASE bring them back,' but he said no and I threw my cat at him, and he got a bump — because it was mummified — and then he stomped out, all mad, and said he was going for a ride, and he took his soldiers with him, and they were going toward the Red Sea, and I hope he never comes back EVER."

"My mom is, like, totally superficial," Cheri Antoinette told the Versailles Herald-Autocrat. Discovered by a Yale French, women, gender, race and social history graduate student, the wide-ranging interview touches on Cheri's taste in music ("Chamber music is so hot!") and boys ("I see lace, I want to ravish the guy"), but it always circles back to her mother. "Like, I brought home a stray dog, and she kicked it out because it peed on the furniture. 'Mom!' I told her. 'The stuff's just nouveau riche crapola! It looks like some Italian king's living room!' But she just kept scratching under her wig and smiling at my dad, who is so fat my friends call him the Ton King. When I get married, you can bet —" From here the interview is impossible to read, as it is covered with hand-drawn hearts and different signatures of "Mrs. Cheri of Wales."

"Greetings, Al Jazeera viewers. My name is Omar and I think you are probably all familiar with my father, the cave dweller himself. I know a lot of you think he's a genius, but I'm here to ask you this: If YOU were a terrorist mastermind, don't you think YOU could figure out how to send your son enough money for a car? I mean, how is it you can smuggle tapes out after every piddling defeat of the American dogs (may sheep chew their entrails), but somehow, when it comes to remembering a son's birthday and sending one of those little cards with a pocket for the check, whoa — suddenly that's 'impossible for security reasons.' Or, 'He's dead, we just don't want to let anyone know.' Or, 'There aren't any card stores around here.' How about getting on a camel and FINDING a card store, huh? How hard is that? And by the way, Dad, if you're listening: Mom was right. The beard makes you look way old."

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© 2007, Creators Syndicate

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