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Sept. 5, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: What does 'doing the right thing' entail?

Caroline B. Glick: The master strategist

Sept. 4, 2008

Ron Kampeas: Biden, Palin take lead in clash on Mideast issues

Bruce Dancis: With humor as their weapon, the Three Stooges took on Hitler

Sept. 3, 2008

Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: Productive school years don't just happen

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Quick lamb stew serves up flavors of India

Sept. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Costly Advice

Caroline B. Glick: Calling Israel's bluff

JWisdom: Wandering in Wonder by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 29, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: 20/20 sightlessness

Caroline B. Glick: When history is not repeated

JWisdom: Blessed or Cursed: It's Really Up to You by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 28, 2008

Steve Lipman: A Comeback for the 'Jewish Jordan'

Jeffrey Weiss: Researcher reports 'intriguing' diabetes breakthrough

August 27, 2008

Rabbi Zecharya Greenwald: Removing the perfectionist's mask

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Nunn: Summer harvest linguine

JWisdom:: The Missing Link in Spiritual Life by Rabbi David Aaron

August 26, 2008

Yaffa Ganz: Grandma gets lessons in staying cool

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: The Dems' 'soft' jihadist

JWisdom:: Today: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Plague of indifference

August 25, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: A friend is bearing a silly grudge from a supposed wrong. What recourse do I have?

Daniel Pipes: Barack Obama through Muslim Eyes

JWisdom:: The knowledge you need to overcome your insecurities by Malka Schulman

August 22, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: Life's essential ingredient

Caroline B. Glick: Dominos anyone?

JWisdom:: Actually, Do Sweat the Small Stuff! by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 21, 2008

Today in Biblical History by Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Popularization of Kabbalah: 20 Menachem-Av 1558 CE

Jonathan Rosenblum: Lessons from the Beyond

JWisdom: : The Olympian within is rooting for you -- yes, you! –- to go for the gold

August 20, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Misleading Platform Platitudes

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Chicken Salad with Asian Dressing

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: America's Defense of the Jews --- Until WWII by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

August 19, 2008

Dennis Prager: If the Almighty doesn't exist

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Obama's Islamist problem has nothing to do with his upbringing

JWisdom: Think your life is messed up? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 18, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Business with Friends

Diana West: Roars About Russia, Bare Whispers About Islam

JWisdom: Relationship agony: The real cause by Malka Schulman

August 15, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: To love the Divine

Caroline B. Glick: Georgia, Israel, and the nature of man

JWisdom: The Truly Righteous Don't Demand Entitlements by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 14, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Confessions of broken spirit

Libby Lazewnik: The Numbers Game

JWisdom: Six Questions You'll Be Asked in Heaven? - Uh - Let's Just Take One for Now! by Gavriel Aryeh Sanders

August 13, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Georgia should be on their minds

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Go Greek: Pair flavorful lamb kebabs with a hearty salad

JWisdom: Human hybrids aren't science fiction by Rabbi David Aaron

August 12, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bless us

Daniel Pipes: The West's Islamist Infiltrators

JWisdom: From Sadness to Gladness: The Route from Tisha b'Av to Rosh Hashana by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 11, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: A Jewish view on fair pricing

Caroline B. Glick: Ignoring failure in Gaza

JWisdom: 'Communication' Is Not The Answer! by Malka Schulman

August 7, 2008

Rabbi David Gutterman: A Continuing Story With a Sustaining Goal

Rabbi Berel Wein: Mourning and morning

JWisdom: Yes, we are still in exile by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 6, 2008

David Ashenfelter: Government made military engineer's life a living hell because of his faith, Defense Department report documents

Jonathan Tobin: Speak the Truth; Defeat the Lies

JWisdom: Jewish Spirituality: Fusion or Confusion? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 5, 2008

Chris Leppek: Church/state wall beginning to crumble?

Paul Greenberg: Exit Olmert (no encore, please)

JWisdom: Serenity: Make the commitment by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Read by Gavriel Sanders)

August 4, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Am I taking advantage of another's psychological quirk?

Andrew Silow-Carroll: A black and a Jew walk into the White House…

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Edward R. Morrow visits the ‘living dead’ by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review March 8, 2007 / 18 Adar, 5767

More gifts? You shouldn't have

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Like most right thinking citizens, you were no doubt outraged at the news that the thugs at the IRS were planning to go after Hollywood celebrities who fail to pay taxes on the gift baskets they receive as presenters at the big awards shows. What's next for these IRS bloodsuckers, you must have wondered, chasing down amputee Iraqi children flown to the US for medical care to make them pay taxes on their donated prosthetic limbs?


Admittedly, these celebrity thank you gifts are a step above the everyday gift baskets most of us are used to — the kind filled with biscotti, fruit preserves, chocolates and other indulgences that you might send to a neighbor as a way of saying, "Sorry for getting drunk and digging up your septic tank with my backhoe." No, the IRS targeted these awards show "swag bags" because they're often crammed with thousands of dollars worth of diamond necklaces, iPods, designer purses, free cosmetic surgery coupons and, for the very top tier celebrities, ready-to-adopt African babies.


Rather than take on the IRS, the Golden Globes and Academy Awards have opted to do away with gift baskets entirely. Under normal circumstances I would oppose this sort of heavy-handed government intrusion on principle (the principle being my delusion that I might someday be on the receiving end of one of these goody baskets), but in this case I see an upside.


My hope is that, much like so many other fads that got their start in Hollywood (see: The "Rachel" hairstyle, Tae Bo, naming children after fruits, etc.), this move by the big awards shows will spark a nationwide trend away from our culture's obsession with compulsive gift-giving.


I can't be the only one who's noticed that you can barely get through an otherwise mundane social function nowadays without armfuls of presents changing hands. Before leaving the house, you have to first ask yourself, "Wait, do I need to bring a housewarming gift? What about a hostess gift? A graduation gift? An office Secret Santa gift? Is it Valentine's Day? Mother's Day? Father's Day? Grandparents' Day? Secretaries' Day? Give Everybody You've Ever Met a Gift Day?"


Lately it's even become commonplace for people to send gifts as a thank-you for gifts they themselves have received. This, in turn, has led to the endless thank-you note cycle from which it is impossible to escape ("I'm writing to thank you for the note you wrote to thank me for the note I wrote to thank you for thanking me for your thoughtful note of thanks.")


Bridesmaids probably have the worst time of it. It's not bad enough that they have to purchase new dresses and matching shoes that, on the Standard Hideousness Scale, typically rank somewhere between "Cringe-worthy" and "Even Dennis Rodman Would Refuse To Wear This." No, today's bridesmaid must also go deeper into debt than a Third World country to come up with, at a bare minimum, an engagement present, multiple bridal shower gifts, a "wishing well" gift, a bachelorette party gift and, of course, a wedding present. That's to say nothing of the gift for the baby shower which, nowadays, at least is often conveniently held at the same time as the bridal shower.


I admit that recently, while helping my wife wrap yet another present for yet another distant acquaintance to acknowledge yet another minor life event, I let loose with my frustration.


"Why can't we just go back to the way things were in the old days when you only had to get presents for people on Christmas and their birthdays?" I fumed.


"But don't you think that would be a little unfair to people who are Jewish?" she asked.


I admit I was a bit taken aback by her question. I tried to keep my dismay at her ignorance to myself, patiently replying, "Um, honey, I don't know how to break this to you, but Jewish people celebrate birthdays too, you know."


I guess my main problem with all the rampant present-exchanging, besides the cost, is that you often wind up having to buy gifts for people you barely know. But isn't the personal touch what makes giving someone a gift so special? Say, for example, that you have a friend with a birthday coming up. After thinking over what might make the perfect present, you recall that he's an avid Beanie Baby collector. Armed with this piece of information, you immediately realize the proper course of action, which, of course, is to end the friendship. I mean, come on, a grown man collecting Beanie Babies?


This is no doubt a good start, but much more work remains. Perhaps, with luck, through this column I can turn the tide against the gift-giving epidemic plaguing the nation. If I succeed, feel free to thank me. But please, no gifts.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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