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Jewish World Review March 23, 2007 / 3 Nissan, 5767 A car with no name is just a ride By Lori Borgman http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The kid who has insisted on naming our cars for years, the same kid we told to cool it for years, has been vindicated. According to an Associated Press AOL poll, 20 percent of all drivers give nicknames to their cars. Whoa, Betsy! Actually, Betsy is the No. 1 nickname, followed by Nelly, Blue and Baby. We may have named a few of our vehicles, but they were names like, "Money Pit," and "Rust Bucket," which were nowhere on the list. The kid who names cars tends to select monikers with considerably more affection. When the green minivan developed a short in the electrical system that caused the interior lights to randomly flash and automatic doors to lock and unlock, she named the vehicle Shirley. It was hard to be dislike a vehicle named Shirley. The 1993 Ford F150 pickup with the five-speed stick shift, custom speakers and deafening muffler she named Henry. It was a good fit. The maroon minivan with extended back became Spencer. Her grandpa's Expedition has been dubbed Eddie and the used Toyota Avalon that came into her possession a year ago, purrs to the name Ava. Despite efforts to resist falling into her trap, we have occasionally heard ourselves saying inane things like, "Does Henry have gas?" Or, "Who's in the garage, Ava or Spencer?" The poll also found that three in 10 drivers think their cars have gender. "How do you know if a car is a girl or a boy?" I ask our car-naming expert. "Oh, you can tell by looking," she chirps. "And where does one look?" I ask. "Under the hood?" "No, you can tell by looking at the car's build. Spencer (the maroon minivan) is obviously a boy. Big, husky, good storage and has a firm idea of where he is going." She explains this to me speaking very slowly, as though someone who has to ask how you tell a girl car from a boy car is a couple quarts low. "Obviously," I say. "You can tell Ava is a girl by the fact that she is dainty and has a soft cream color. Plus, you can't take Ava over the speed bumps the way you could Henry. Henry could take the speed bumps in second or third without a ripple, but Ava is delicate. You have to slow way down." I was with her in the car recently when someone gave us the international road signal. I looked over to see her response and she calmly said, "Just ignore them Ava." "Ava has no idea what just happened," I said. "Yes, she does, she's very sensitive," she said, patting Ava on the dashboard. Colormatters.com may not agree that cars have personalities, but they do contend that a car's color tells about the personalities of the people who drive them. Black reflects an aggressive personality and is the color car most likely to be in an accident. Silver means someone is cool, calm and slightly aloof. Green indicates hysterical tendencies. Yellow reflects idealism, and white is for status-seeking extroverts. Cream is self-contained, controlled and least likely to be in an accident. I was driving the self-contained and controlled cream-colored Ava the other day and forgot to take the speed bump slow. Like Ava knows I took the speed bump a little too fast, I chuckled to myself. By the time I reached the stop sign, the seat warmer had turned itself off. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here. ARCHIVES © 2007, Lori Borgman

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