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Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review March 14, 2006 / 14 Adar, 5766

Finding fun in rejection

By David Grimes

Grimes
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Awards have been handed out for the Oddest Book Title of the Year, and once again none of my submissions made the cut.


Bookseller magazine gave first place to a self-help book on being haunted titled "People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It."


Second place went to "Rhino Horn Stockpile Management: Minimum Standards and Best Practices From East and Southern Africa."


I have sent far better prospective titles to book publishers over the years and, needless to say, all of them have been rejected. I attribute this to a lack of imagination among the publishing elite and an inability to "think outside the box," as today's motivational speakers are so fond of saying.


One of my first rejected book titles was "Pug Incontinence: How to Make Your Living Room Smell Like the Men's Room at Raymond James Stadium in Under a Week." My prospective publisher said that too few book buyers were interested in pug incontinence and that those who were were probably more interested in correcting it than modeling their home décor around it. This struck me as a very narrow viewpoint, but starving authors have very little clout in today's publishing world, or so it seems.


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Another of my rejected titles was "How to Avoid Killing Your Spouse While Playing Endless Board Games During Hurricane Season." I tried to make it clear that I didn't mean "killing" in a literal sense but rather as a euphemism for a light strangling. But my prospective publisher, who apparently could drive past a plane crash without swiveling his head, thought that the title was too "strong" for today's market and asked me to redo the book's theme to something that celebrated the joys of shared canned tuna fish.


Artists like me cannot be bullied in that way, so I simply filed "Board Games" in my desk drawer with all my other rejected book titles.


These include:

  • "Phantom Flossing: How to Trick Your Dental Hygienist Into Thinking You Really Care About Your Gums."

  • "Cell Phone Etiquette: Why Ordering Pizza in the Middle of a Crowded Movie Theater is a Constitutionally Protected Right."

  • "Why I Love Ballet: A Primer in Under 25 Words."

  • "How to Destroy Your Lawn Without Really Trying."

  • "100 Good Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Called Upon to Kill Spiders the Size of Manhole Covers That Have Taken Up Residence in Their Bathrooms."

  • "Improve Your IQ by Watching More Daytime TV."

  • "What the Health Fascists Don't Want You to Know About Beer."

  • "Lose Weight the Elvis Way."

  • "Are You Allergic to Sex?"

  • "Lethargy: Nap Your Way to a New You."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.

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