May 21, 2012 Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security? Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy? Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring May 18, 2012 Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike May 17, 2012 Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine? The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes May 16, 2012 Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks Kiplinger Reports, Summarized Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025 The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques) May 15, 2012 Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES) May 14, 2012 Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims? Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight May 11, 2012 Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON May 10, 2012 Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare May 9, 2012 John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83 Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up? Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors May 8, 2012 Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques) May 7, 2012 Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst? Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat May 4, 2012 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities' Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired? Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble May 3, 2012 Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah? Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby

Jewish World Review March 29, 2006 / 29 Adar, 5766 The answer to lagging movie attendance By Brad Dickson http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | According to a spate of recent reports to shore up lagging attendance many movie theaters are about to undergo major renovations. Apparently "movie people" feel the major reason folks aren't flocking to see "Flintstones 5" is they don't like the theaters themselves. Which is understandable. Most U.S. movie theaters have the ambiance of Ukranian meat lockers. As long as they've finally nailed the reason why people no longer attend films I thought I'd offer some helpful hints to see that the renovations address the major problems. Starting with the installation of overhead spotlights in the theater rafters (assuming a building the size of a large bread box has rafters). Then whenever someone talks on a cellphone during the movie the spotlight shines on the offender and the other theater patrons descend on him en masse and call him derogatory names until he hangs up. After the overhead spotlights are securely in place I call for installing snooze alarms in every seat which will be automatically activated in the final half hour of all Ben Affleck movies. I also call for the immediate installation of sick bags adjacent every seat in theaters showing the movie Failure To Launch. Terry Bradshaw has a nude scene in said film that seemed to this moviegoer to last approximately nine hours. Next, I call for placing mattresses outside the ticket window to help cushion the fall when Dad keels over after spending $63.50 for a family of five to get into Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector. It also wouldn't hurt to install mattresses inside the theaters to catch the fainting senior citizens who go see Brokeback Mountain because they miss the old style Westerns. In addition, because of all the gay-themed movies like Brokeback, Capote, etc, I call for installing pop up female mannequins at regularly spaced intervals throughout theaters. This allows insecure males who'd like to attend one of the 8,000 gay themed flicks currently in release but who are dateless to seemingly have an attractive female in the seat beside them. The female mannequins will also allow die-hard science fiction fans to know what it's like to sit beside a girl. With all the sequels based on creaky TV programs, next I'd install television sets tuned to Nick At Nite so patrons can watch old sitcoms from the 60's and 70's to see what will be turned into major motion pictures within 18 months. This would negate the need for showing previews, and when the newspaper prints that a film begins at 8:30 it'd actually begin at 8:30 and not 9:45. On the back of every seat I'd also place a pair of ear plugs since movie soundtracks are now louder than Kiss concerts. Sitting through any action movie can cause tinnitus. Below is a small, unscientific chart demonstrating how the sound in movie theaters compares to other loud noises. Jackhammer — 200 million decibels Jet engine — 300 million decibels Crying baby beside you inside jet — 350 million decibels M-80 firecracker — 380 million decibels Movie theater sound systems — 400 million decibels Oprah audience after being informed each audience member has just won a free souvenir toothpick or dish towel — 9 billion decibels Finally, to draw patrons back into theaters I'd disguise the exterior of mall multiplexes to resemble mall food courts. Since Americans are more interested in eating than watching films I'd place a couple golden arches or a giant sign reading HAAGEN DAZS at the theater entrance to trick the chronically hungry. By the time the hungry people get inside the theater and realize they've been duped they either bury their face in the concession stand Milk Duds, or, as unlikely as it seems, sit down and enjoy a movie. At least as much as you can enjoy Flintstones 5 or a naked Terry Bradshaw. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Brad Dickson was a monologue staff writer for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno for 13 years. He's presently developing a network television pilot. Comment by clicking here. Archives © 2006, Brad Dickson

Arnold Ahlert  Mitch Albom  Jay Ambrose  Michael Barone  Barrywood  Lori Borgman  Stratfor Briefing  Mona Charen  Linda Chavez  Richard Z. Chesnoff  Ann Coulter  Greg Crosby  Alan Douglas  Larry Elder  Suzanne Fields  Frank J. Gaffney  Bernie Goldberg  Jonah Goldberg  Julia Gorin  Jonathan Gurwitz  Paul Greenberg  Argus Hamilton  Victor Davis Hanson  Betsy Hart  Ron Hart  Nat Hentoff  Marybeth Hicks  A. Barton Hinkle  David Horowitz  Jeff Jacoby  Renee James  Paul Johnson  Jack Kelly  Ed Koch  Ch. Krauthammer  Michael Ledeen  John Leo  David Limbaugh  Kathryn Lopez  Rich Lowry  Michelle Malkin  Jackie Mason  Ann McFeatters  Dale McFeatters  Dana Milbank  Jeanne Moos  Dick Morris  Jim Mullen  Deroy Murdock  Judge A. Napolitano  Bill O'Reilly  Kathleen Parker  Star Parker  Dennis Prager  Wesley Pruden  Tom Purcell  Sharon Randall  Robert Robb  Cokie & Steve Roberts  Heather Robinson  Pat Sajak  Debra J. Saunders  Martin Schram  Culture Shlock  David Shribman  Roger Simon  Michael Smerconish  Thomas Sowell  Ben Stein  Mark Steyn  John Stossel  Cal Thomas  Dan Thomasson  Bob Tyrrell  Ben Wattenberg  Diana West  Dave Weinbaum  George Will  Walter Williams  Byron York  ZeitGeist  Mort Zuckerman  Robert Arial  Chuck Asay  Baloo  Chip Bok  Dry Bones   Lisa Benson  John Branch  John Cole  J. D. Crowe  John Deering  Brian Duffy  Everything's Relative  Mallard Fillmore  Glenn Foden  Jake Fuller  Bob Gorrel  Walt Handelsman  Joe Heller  David Hitch  Jerry Holbert  David Horsey  Lee Judge  Steve Kelley  Jeff Koterba  Dick Locher  Chan Lowe  Jimmy Margulies  Jack Ohman  Michael Ramirez  Drew Sheneman  Kevin Siers  Jeff Stahler  Scott Stantis  Ed Stein  Danna Summers  John Trever  Gary Varvel  Kirk Walters   Dan Wasserman  Mr. Know-It-All  Ask Doctor K  Richard Lederer  Frugal Living  Tech Maven  On Nutrition  Bookmark These  Bruce Williams