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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 31, 2005 / 20 Adar II, 5765

Drive thru Golden Arches for McHits

By Lenore Skenazy


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Now that McDonald's is paying rappers to riff on Mickey D's, how long before older songs get retooled? Some McHits we expect to hear soon:

To "The Banana Boat Song (Day-O)"

Filet-o, Filet-o

Lunchtime come and I gotta one wish.

Filet-o, filet-o

Lunchtime come and I wanna square fish.

To The Beatles' "Drive My Car"

Asked a girl what she wanted to eat

She said, "Baby, can't you see?

I wanna be skinny, a star of the screen

So I need something fresh and green." McSalad, baby, in the car!

Dressing by a movie star

McSalad, baby, in the car

And, baby, I'm lovin' it.

To "Scarborough Fair"

Are you going to finish your fries?

Ketchup, salt, but please hold the thyme

Remember me as one who would share

I once gave you two fries of mine.

To "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

Supersize-the-fries-delicious-expialidocious

Even though the smell of them will give you halitosis

If you eat 'em long enough, you know your diagnosis:

Super-cali-fragilis-arteriosclerosis!

To "Guantanamera"

One Quarter Pounder!

I needa one Quarter Pounder

One Quarter Pounder

I needa one Quarter Pounder.

To "Send In The Clowns"

Isn't it rich?

Isn't it thick?

Me with my straw in my shake

You take a lick.

Send in the pounds

We're packing on pounds

All straight to the rear.

To "Sunny Day (The Sesame Street Song)"

Sunny day

I need a break today

On my way to finding food, folks, fun!

Can you tell me where to get

Where to get a Sesame bun?

With some special sauce by the ton?

To "The Birthday Song"

Happy Meal day to you!

Happy Meal day to you!

Happy Meal day, Dear Customer Who Is Crying Under the Plastic Chair Because The Prize Is Already Broken

Happy Meal day to you.

To "Puff (The Magic Dragon)"

Puff, the Egg McMuffin

Lived by the sea

And frolicked with the breakfast crowd

In a land called Mickey D's!

Little Jackie Paper

Loved that Egg McMuff

And piled him high with ketchup packs

And other fancy stuff.

One sad day it happened:

Jackie Paper came no more

He'd blimped up to size 52

And couldn't squeeze out his door.

Oh Puff the Egg McMuffin

Lived by the sea

And frolicked with the breakfast crowd

In a land called Mickey D's.

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JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.

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© 2005, NY Daily News

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