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May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust June 5, 2013 John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream June 3, 2013 Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. Bradley Manning's WikiLeaks trial also a test for government Mark Trumbull: Have degree, driving cab: Nearly half of college grads are overqualified Kim Lankford: What to do when long-term care insurance premiums rise Deborah Netburn: Study: Adults' mouth bacteria may help babies Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Contestant on 'The Voice'; Will Smith's 'Jewish movie family'; Bravo Gives Long Island Jews the Jersey Shore Treatment; Magicians and More The Kosher Gourmet by Bill Ward: How to be as refined as the wines at a wine tasting May 29, 2013 Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die Dennis Prager: The 'Muslims-Killed-by-the-West' Lie David Clark Scott: Open war on teachers? 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Jewish World Review March 31, 2005 / 20 Adar II, 5765 What to Use on This Column If You — Horrors! — Happen Not to Like It By James Lileks http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | All hail Sam Kimery: He's a canny entrepreneur who's come up with a device that prevents propaganda and Karl Rove-hatched talking points from flooding from your TV unabated. It's called the Fox Blocker. Hook it up to your coaxial cable, and no longer will the grim visage of Bill O'Reilly fill your screen, commanding you to chant "Freedom is slavery" while standing with a small American flag in your fist. If you sign up now, Kimery will also e-mail Fox's advertisers, telling them you've opted out. An e-mail! If you have Fox stock, sell now. An exceptional idea. No matter how much tinfoil you pack in your beanie, it can't deflect Rupert Murdock's mind-control rays. He's probably working on a signal that reprograms pacemakers so people's hearts beat faster when the Fox anthem swells. Oh, sure, you could take your TV apart every day and scrape the right-wing residue off the inside of the glass, but who has the time? You could demand that your cable company add a closed-caption feed to Fox, something that says "Lies! Lies! Nothing but lies!" — but they didn't listen when you demanded that they carry C-Span 12, a channel devoted entirely to static shots of hallways in the Dirksen Senate Office Building. You could reprogram your cable box so it skips right by the Fox News channel — but you lost the manual. You could just, well, not watch Fox News. Just kidding! Of course that's not an option. You have to make a stand against media bias. Good thing you won't be alone. Everyone thinks the media are biased — except most people in the media, oddly enough. Some on the right believe that New York Times editors get out the preserved head of Karl Marx and use a Ouija board to see what the father of communism wants them to print. Some on the left believe the media lean to the right, because they are profit-making companies who profit from war. That explains all those documentaries you saw after Sept. 11, like "Faster, Rumsfeld! Kill! Kill!" and other such blood-lusty pro-war coverage. The truth, as ever, is in the middle. Most newsrooms are stuffed to the gunwales with liberals of various intensities; sometimes it shows, sometimes it doesn't. They try to be objective. Granted, sometimes this takes the form of "Let's be objective about the fact that George W. Bush is an idiot," but it could be worse. In any case, the folks at Fox are overtly center-right, because they say "our troops" instead of "coalition forces," and use eagles and jets in the promos. Oh, the horror. But at least they put up straw men to argue with their hectoring, square-jawed hosts. Who's the Colmes or Geraldo or Greta at CNN? Nevertheless, the Fox Blocker is a fabulous tool for the easily annoyed. But why stop there? We need the following devices, pronto: The New York Times Evaporator. Uses space-based lasers to locate the Times on your front steps, take aim and incinerate it. In the future the technology will be refined so the lasers can simply remove the columnists you do not like, or eliminate bias-laden adjectives from news stories. For the moment, however, the technology can only target areas several yards wide, so advise your paperboy to throw the Times from the street and run like heck. The Talking Head Obscurer. Program in the names of your least favorite commentators, and the Obscurer replaces their faces with pixel hash, a picture of a baboon's hindquarters, or — for those fans of the William Kennedy Smith trial who want to revisit the early '90s — a fuzzy-edged blue oval. Soothing white noise replaces the words. Works on everyone except James Carville, whose personality could cut through the hull of an aircraft carrier. The MSNBC Blocker. Actually, this was installed on all cable and satellite boxes a few years ago. They're still waiting for someone to notice. Finally, there's one new technology that truly shows some promise. It's called the Internet. Visit sites whose opinions you like. Bookmark them. Ignore the rest! Remember, on the Internet no one knows you're a dog — so feel free to sniff the same fire hydrant, day after day after day. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor James Lileks is a columnist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune. Comment by clicking here. ARCHIVES © 2005, James Lileks

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