"Achievement Motivation" Reconsidered: Part II
Gratification -- Now or Later?
By Dr. Jacob Mermelstein
BECAUSE THE VALUE OF SCHOOL TASKS IS NOT immediate, it is
essential that children develop an ability -- indeed, an understanding
-- of postponing gratification. This is a fundamental coping mechanism
whose failing to master will, inevitably, impact the child negatively
throughout adolescence.
While there is no doubt that this goal is quite a difficult task for
young children because of the intensity of their instinctual drives and
because their concept of the past and the future is not fully developed,
postponement of immediate gratification can be developed. Children who
basically trust their parents will have trust in the future because
their parents say so even if the concept "future" is quite hazy. Trust
in one's parent is the outcome of a warm parent-child relationship,
when promises are scrupulously kept and when parents offer rewards
with their demands. Such rewards need not, of course, be material
ones. A sense of well-being, warmth, physical and emotional contact, a
smile or look, more than suffice. Needless to say, such training should
be gradual, with ever increasing periods of time between need and
gratification. Of course, a warm parent-child relationship is in itself
gratifying and can "take over" when the real gratification is in the
distant future.
The Parent as Model
When the child becomes his parent in role-playing episodes, he more than
imitates; he identifies with him and in a sense becomes the parent
himself. This can be observed when the child takes over many of the
parent's mannerisms, modes of speech or posture. It inevitably involves
the parent's code of behavior, his goals and aspirations, and sense of
values. Not only does "the apple not fall far from the tree," the apple
contains the seed which grows into the very same kind of tree.
This kind of mechanism accounts for the known fact that children do not
grow up as their parents want them to be. They rather resemble --
or are what the parents themselves are. Like it or not, our children
often mirror our actions as we are, not as we choose to view ourselves.
It is, thus, of no need to mention that parents should be adequate
models for their children. It is, however, a sad fact that invariably
parents demand more of their children than of themselves as far as
achievement is concerned. As a member of a business organization, the
parent may be satisfied with not being in the highest echelon -- but
the child must have A's and outrank his fellows. Adults know of their
inefficiency and frequent mediocrity of performance, but as for the
child -- he must do his best.
In addition, there are many inconsistencies such as parents professing
love for learning yet hardly opening a book themselves. It is no wonder
then that children are bewildered. They feel that parents are unjust in
demanding more of the child than of themselves -- and in addition lose
respect because of the transparent hypocrisy.
Consequently, the
identification process becomes filled with anxiety and doubt. The young
child who was so very anxious to be like Daddy is no longer so very
sure. There will thus be less imitative play and less acceptance of the
parent as a model.
Of course, parents could be "perfect." But if they are not, they can
at least have goals for their child not out of proportion with their own
goals. Parents can be more consistent themselves and if they cannot be
so, it may be better for them to stop their preaching.
The School and Achievement Motivation
Much of what has been said about the home can be applied in school, too.
Teachers know very well that "success breeds success." They should,
however, make it possible for all children to be successful. This
may call for many and repeated adjustments in curriculum planning for a
class as a whole and for the individual child.
Why do the very same children who clamored for homework in first grade
and loved those little assignments come to loathe it later on?
Obviously, if homework tasks would be introduced ever so gradually, with
a likelihood that the child can do the work at home, the child could
not develop such an aversion to it so soon. So it is with most school
tasks. Lack of motivation and aversion to school tasks come about when
tasks are too difficult, when success is unlikely, and when learning is
then heaped upon earlier learning which never did take place adequately.
Thus the child who lost out earlier in his school career rarely ever
catches up.
More effort is needed to locate the child's level of achievement at the
time when instruction is to take place and then introduce the
slightly more difficult task -- one that can be mastered with just
a little more effort.
It is said that frogs have been boiled alive when the temperature of the
water they were in was raised ever so slowly. Can then our children not
be put into a comfortable environment and, when the "heat must be put
on," can this not be done in a slow and painless fashion?
A Delicate Transition
More important yet is the transition to more difficult tasks. These must
always be ever so gradual if the child's early achievement motivation is
to be sustained throughout his school career. To water down instruction
indiscriminately will not do the job, for lack of a need to exert
oneself will stifle motivation. Instruction should selectively be made
easier and more difficult in order to assure success with some
effort.
Children who come to school with strong achievement motivations and thus
a good deal of independence will thrive when teachers call upon their
students to take initiative and to actively participate in the planning
and execution of what goes on in the classroom.
Thus, similarly to the home situation a regimen of initiative, exertion,
success and repetition should assure each child the successful school
career that is his due.
In Short
Children usually come to school with an apparently innate motivation to
succeed scholastically. This can be seen in their eagerness to imitate
their elders even when this entails a good deal of exertion.
Parents and teachers can help develop and sustain such motivations.
Several factors are involved. Initiative is the first of these and
implies training the child to be independent, active and responsible for
his actions. Some effort and accompanying frustrations play an important
role. An adequate measure of success is necessary if the effort is to be
repeated. Thus tasks should be just within reach with some effort.
Parents need to help children develop an ability to postpone
gratification; that is to do tasks now for reward in the future. This
can be accompanied by gradually delaying gratification. A truly warm
parent-child relationship is essential.
Children identify with their parents by imitating them. Parents should
thus be adequate models, reasonable in their expectations, and
consistent in their own beliefs and values.
The school can help by first presenting the child with tasks that he can
do with some effort but are not way beyond them. Thereafter
task-difficulty should be ever so slowly increased. The curriculum must
be flexible enough to provide tasks at multiple levels as each child's
need demands. And teachers need flexibility to experiment, small classes
to know each child's ability, and sufficient time to provide all this
for our young.
All this may sound like a tall order. It is, however, quite cheap and
certainly worthwhile when one compares it to the heartaches, the
failures, the wasted man hours and lives, which come about when one's
scholastic career was an unwelcome burden, where little learning
actually took place.
Dr. Jacob Mermelstein is a practicing
psychologist, certified both in New York and
New Jersey.