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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

A mitzvah called 'shmooze'

By David Suissa






Make the transformative power of conversation a religious duty


JewishWorldReview.com | In a crummy economy, people are always looking for good investments — a promising stock, a real estate opportunity, a star mutual fund. It's really not that different in the "mitzvah economy"— donors and do-gooders are also looking to squeeze the maximum amount of goodness out of every charity investment.

On that note, I'd like to share with you a mitzvah that has a ridiculously low investment and an incredibly high return.

It's a mitzvah called shmooze.

I think of this mitzvah every time I'm stuck in freeway traffic and I call my mother in Montreal. Nine times out of 10, especially during the long winter months, the first words out of her mouth will be (in French): "Ah, mon fils, je pensait justement ą toi!" (Oh, my son, I was just thinking of you!).

You see, my mother has this quirk when it comes to phones: When she hears a ring, she always picks up. She's not big on screening calls. She doesn't make those quick calculations of whether such and such person is worth talking to. I've never asked her this, but it wouldn't surprise me if she shmoozes with telemarketers who pitch her great deals on ink toners.

Ever since my father passed away 10 years ago, the ring of the phone in my mother's home has come to symbolize the promise of human contact. Whereas for me it might mean an unwanted interruption, for my mother it is a welcomed trumpet that announces the interruption of loneliness.

I try to interrupt that loneliness as often as I can. It helps that our conversations are light and breezy and require little concentration on my part. It's as if we have this unwritten agreement that if she'll go easy on me with the questions, I'll stay on as long as she likes (or until I get to my "meeting").

Sometimes I'll be in a silly mood and make her crack up. I might tell her something funny one of my kids said. Occasionally, we might talk about a serious family matter, and she'll weigh in with her suggestions (read: orders).



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But typically, we'll just shmooze about family stuff: How are the kids doing? (Baruch Hashem [Thank Heaven].) Is Noah getting taller? (I think so.) Who's cooking for Sabbath? (I don't know yet — probably Mia.) Did you tell the housekeeper you won't need her next Wednesday? (I will, I promise.) Do you speak to your sister? (All the time.) And how about your brother? (Yes, on e-mail.)

From my end, I will lob back questions about her health ("How's your knee?") or I'll ask about Sabbath plans ("Will you be with Judy, Sandra or Samy?"). Our favorite subject, of course, is travel, and it consists mostly of two questions: "When are you coming to Montreal?" and "When can you come to Los Angeles?"

After about 15 minutes or so, we're usually ready to wrap up. We throw in a few words of caution (Me: "Please watch the steps!" Her: "Please be careful!"), some tender sentiments ("Kiss everyone" and "I love you"), and, voilą, it's, "Goodbye Meme, I'll speak to you very soon."

But as I run off to another meeting, Meme hangs up and goes back to an empty house. The difference, though, is that now, in that empty house, the words of our conversation will echo pleasantly in her consciousness. She'll be thinking about all the good stuff we talked about. That's because words that interrupt loneliness have a time-release quality. They keep ringing gently in one's ears long after the phone has stopped ringing. I invest 15 minutes in sweet shmoozing, and, in return, I get hours of motherly joy. Wouldn't you call that a good investment?


The truth is, you don't have to be related to someone to offer good conversation — in fact, it could be an advantage not to be related. So, I wonder: How many elderly are there in our sprawling community who spend their days alone and could use a good shmooze?

Why not twin those elderly with the younger who could put a spark in their day with some lively conversation?

It's a mitzvah that works both ways: The elderly have great wisdom and stories to share, which could enrich anyone's day.

The beauty is that it's simple. No event planning, no shlepping — just a phone call. Multiply that by a few thousand calls and that's a lot of loneliness interruption.

Every community can start their own schmooze project. You need a good organizer, of course, to recruit people and coordinate all the vetting. But the basic idea is not complicated: volunteer "shmoozers" get a short list of willing elderly "friends" to call on a regular basis.

In the meantime, don't wait for Mother's Day or Father's Day to call your parents or grandparents, or anyone else you know who can use a good shmooze. Especially for people fighting loneliness, one little call can brighten up a whole day.

Like my mother would say, now that's a bargain.

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David Suissa is the founder and CEO of Suissa Miller Advertising, a $300 million marketing firm named "Agency of the Year" by USA Today that attracts clients like Heinz, Dole, McDonalds, Princess Cruises, Charles Schwab and Acura. Suissa's writings on advertising have been published in several publications including the Los Angeles Times and Advertising Age. He is also a columnist for the Jewish Journal in Los Angeles.



© 2013, David Suissa

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