Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb 16, 2012/ 23 Shevat, 5772

S'no way this is winter

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's been an unusual winter here in our pocket of the Midwest, much milder than usual. The last thing I wanted to do was cause panic. But I knew I needed to tell someone, which is why I called the Weather Channel.

"Hello? I'd like to report a snowflake."

"Can you describe it?"

" Yes, it was white and had a hexagon shape, lacey and crystal like."

"Where was it?"

" On the passenger side of my windshield. Top right quadrant."

"Calm down, ma'am. Take a breath. Where did the snowflake go?"

"Into a bank."

"One flake and it's already drifting?"

"No it went toward the Fifth Third bank."

"Are you saying you let it get away! For the love of panic, why didn't you try to save it? Let it stick to a mitten? Catch it on your tongue?"

"Not when I'm driving 45 mph!"

"Listen, if we sent out a member of the team, could you direct him to the location?"

"Not right now, I'm on my way to the store to clear the shelves of bread, milk, eggs and batteries. I figure when the big snow finally hits, it's going to be a monster."

"Right. Have you notified the salt trucks? City officials? State emergency system?"

"Done, done and done. Listen, I could consider meeting your person on one condition. He has to bring a ruler; I just love that when they stick a ruler into the snow. I mean, there's no snow to stick a ruler in, but he could put it on the ground and I could draw a little pencil mark as to how tall the snowflake was.

"Come to think of it, the flake was spinning as it sailed away. It had a certain vortex to it, could have been an F3. Maybe you should send a storm chaser team, too, you know, those folks who race into the path of tornadoes and then drive like maniacs to get away. I think clouds are building.

"No, wait, clouds are not building. But I could run home and get a box fan so we could make it look like clouds are building and your fellow could struggle against the wind. I love that, too, where they lean sideways, the sound is muffled and their hair blows in a million directions like they're wired to a live socket. We've missed out on a lot this winter.

"Look, I have to run. I need to get deicer, salt the driveway, stack more firewood, check on the generator, gas up the car and check the bottled water supply. It was only one snowflake, but if we unleash a full-fledge panic now, others may come."


Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

ARCHIVES

© 2012, Lori Borgman

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles