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McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal May 3, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert May 1, 2013 Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell Halena M. 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Twerski: The world is a mirror Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen? Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver) The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead April 24, 2013 Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret Top Muslim cleric boycotts inter-faith dialogue conference attended by 'Jews' Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication? 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Seek a second opinion The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Corn and Curry Add Zing to Chilled Soup April 15, 2013 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Death of Education? Kristen Chick: Egyptian Christians respond with harsh words to attack -- rocks, Molotov cocktails, and gunfire -- against main cathedral Marcy Darnovsky and Karuna Jaggar: High Court to decide if you should own your DNA Howard LaFranchi: US bracing for more Russian blowback after taking action against 18 more human rights violators Kristin Ohlson : The loneliest fight The Kosher Gourmet by Dana Velden: A tasty, rich dish that hints at spring's arrival while still anchored in a favorite winter staple

Jewish World Review Your call is very unimportant to us By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My call is very important to them. I know that because they've told me that 600 times already. When they're not telling me that, or when they're not telling me that my phone call may be recorded for "training purposes," they play some jaunty music, like the theme to a quiz show that never made it past the pilot. A quiz show called: "Can You Get a Live Person on the Customer Service Phone?" If you win, you would get your own personal tech guy to live next door to you for the rest of your life. Of course, you would have to move to India, but they'd pay for that. And since the guy next door will be able to get your Skype connection going (sound and picture), you'll be able to talk to your friends and family as if they were right next door … in Pakistan. Do corporations understand that saying a call is very important to them is different than acting as if a call is very important to them? Just saying it's very important is like telling your wife: "I love you, honey, that's why I think this separation will strengthen our relationship." No, it won't. I know all the tricks to get live people on the phone -- pretending I don't have a touch-tone phone. Is there anyone left on the planet who still uses a rotary phone? And if there is, why should they go to the front of the line? If you're still using a rotary phone, it's a good bet you aren't spending every waking moment multitasking on your laptop like the rest of us, feverishly pressing zero to get an operator. Corporations are getting wise to that maneuver, it doesn't work as well as it used to. Now you have to try pressing the number-sign key when they start announcing numbers. Or sometimes hit the star key and then the number-sign key. Still, none of that will help when the only message you get, after they say your call is very important to them, is "for faster service, visit our website." My problem was no Internet. How can I go to their website? How can I even find their number to tell them I have a problem? My address book is up in the cloud somewhere. It felt like the old days when you couldn't call the phone company to tell them that your phone was out of order. The first question the phone person would ask was: "Are you using the phone right now?" They you'd have to explain that you were three houses away, using someone else's phone because your phone doesn't work. That's when you'd find out that your phone hadn't been working for three days, and when the service people tried to call you all they got was a busy signal. "What's a busy signal?" I can hear some 15-year-old asking you right now. It seems my Internet provider has an unlisted customer service number. I only got it by calling the only number listed for them -- the number to call if I wanted to pay my bill. From there I was able to transfer to the number to call if I was moving and from there I learned the number to call to cancel my service and from there I got the number to call if I was a business, which finally gave me a number to call if I had technical problems. It asked me to punch in my phone number to provide faster service. Forty-five minutes later, a human answered the phone. Finally, all my problems will be solved; and it's about time -- I've got some very important business to conduct. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: Bam! Practical kitchen magic Poisoning myself Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version! $38,000 for traffic and weather updates 2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack 2010: A year of annoying junk Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters Money never sleeps, but it does pass out President Trump kept it classy Stalking your college kid won't change a thing Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’ Mo' government, mo' problems iLostIt Dressed for excess Expert tease The mysteries of Jersey ‘You are a toilet, where am I?’ Don't we all cheat at the game of life? What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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