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May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust June 5, 2013 John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream June 3, 2013 Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. 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Jewish World Review Life: There's no app for that By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sue wanted me to go out and shovel the snow off of her car so she could get to work. It seems awfully old-fashioned in this high-tech age that either of us should actually have to leave the house -- her to go to work, me to shovel snow. Isn't there an app for that? I guess not. Millions of people with smart phones have learned this winter that an app exists that will tell them that their flights were cancelled, but nothing that will magically beam them to whatever sunshiny place they were going. Instead, they are stuck in the airport just like the folks with stupid phones. There is no app that lets you sleep comfortably in an airport. There are apps that will tell you the temperature of the beach you are supposed to be lying on, and that it's happy hour at the bar. Is it even possible to have a happy hour in an airport? Let me check my Airport Happy Hour app. There are all kinds of apps that can tell you exactly what time the next big blizzard of 2011 will hit, but apparently there is no app that tells you to stay off Chicago's Lake Shore Drive in the middle of it. The good news is that there is an app that can tell you exactly how long you were trapped in your car during a snowstorm down to the very last second. I used my latitude app to find out if any of my friends were also trapped in the storm. It turns out that Bobby and his pregnant girlfriend were trapped in a car about a half-mile ahead of me. Of course, she wasn't pregnant when they first got trapped in the storm. I guess there's no app for that. I just got an invitation to their wedding on my smart phone. Sometimes I think their phone is a lot smarter than they are. I don't know what it's called, but there must be an app that tells people to run down to the grocery store and buy every loaf of bread and roll of toilet paper every time someone says the word "snow." I wonder if there's an app that can tell me exactly how long the average family can live without bread? One hour? One day? After that, does starvation set in? And how long should you wait to panic? "Two days without bread! They'll find us passed out from hunger. Will anyone look for us? Or will they just find our skeletons? I suppose if we got into real trouble we could use our smart phones to call someone, but who can remember that number you call for emergencies? Why did they make it so long and hard to remember? Oh, that's right, it's in my smart phone's memory from the time I called them. Remember? I couldn't get my garage door opener to work. Talk about an emergency, I thought I'd have to get out of the car and open it myself." Can't you just make bread if you run out? Isn't there an app for that? Or as we used to call it: a recipe. I mean, if you're so snowed in that you can't make it to the grocery store to buy bread, it means you're snowed in enough that you can't go to work, either. That gives you all day to bake. I think I could be snowed in for an entire year and still not get to the bottom of my freezer. If only there was an app that would tell me what's in there -- and defrost it. Now that'd be a smart phone. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: Bam! Practical kitchen magic Poisoning myself Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version! $38,000 for traffic and weather updates 2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack 2010: A year of annoying junk Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters Money never sleeps, but it does pass out President Trump kept it classy Stalking your college kid won't change a thing Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’ Mo' government, mo' problems iLostIt Dressed for excess Expert tease The mysteries of Jersey ‘You are a toilet, where am I?’ Don't we all cheat at the game of life? What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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