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Jewish World Review A vacation revolution By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Have you noticed that most of the countries having revolutions these past few weeks are all great vacation spots? I hadn't heard of Tunisia before the recent uprising, and couldn't find it on a map if you offered me round-trip airfare. But once it was in the news, and they started showing pictures of its long, warm, sandy, empty beaches and date palms swaying above the noisy protesters, I started thinking, "I could go for some of that." It turns out that Tunisia has been a big tourist spot with Europeans for a long time. It's their Florida, but with vacationing Swedes instead of Canadians. It's on the North African coast, a quick ferry ride south of Sicily or a short flight from the colder parts of the continent. It used to be a French colony so they speak French and Arabic, but like most tourist spots, the people in the hospitality business all speak at least a little English. But during the middle of a revolution, the tourists stop coming and the airports are jammed with people trying to leave. Which is just backwards. I'll bet you could have gotten a five-star resort hotel on the beach in Tunisia for next to nothing at the height of the rioting. People should be storming their travel agents begging to get a beachfront bargain in Tunisia. The same with Egypt. No one was rioting at the pyramids. The whole uprising took place in a square that most tourists would never see. While the Egyptians were busy kicking out their autocrat and his rich friends, you and I could have been visiting the Sphinx and Luxor for a song. The tour guides were begging for business, let the haggling begin. The one complaint most tourists have about visiting the ancient wonders of Egypt is the unavoidable hordes of fellow tourists. Not a problem during the uprising. If you always wanted to go and help the local economy, the revolution was your big chance. And if antiquities aren't your thing, you could always join deposed dictator Hosni Mubarak in the Red Sea resort town of Sharm el-Sheikh. If you want a nice vacation, find out where your local strong man spends his time, and have a wonderful time. Dictators always know where the best, most secure vacation spots are, because there's nothing worse than having your afternoon spa interrupted by a coup. This week, they're demonstrating in Yemen, Libya and Bahrain, and that's just the beginning. Go do a Google Earth tour of Bahrain -- I didn't know where it was, either -- and tell me that it doesn't look like nice getaway. The whole country is about the size of Manhattan, yet it has miles of uncrowded beaches and plenty of deserts, too. It has some of those man-made islands like Dubai. Bahrain doesn't need all that indoor skiing and the world's tallest building nonsense. That could be their advertising slogan -- "Bahrain -- It's Dubai light!" So, have we missed all the revolutionary travel bargains? Not to worry, you can start your own uprising. Pick a place you'd really like to visit but can't afford, say Hong Kong or Britain or Italy or Disney World or New York City, and start Facebooking and Twittering that it's time for a regime change. I watched the all the news coming out of Egypt, and all the reporters say that all you have to do is tweet somebody that you're unhappy and, a week later, after some deadly street fighting where they pretty much just kill the locals, not tourists, the dictators pack up their money and leave on their private jets. Then you just wait for the vacation bargains to start rolling in. And be sure to ask for a spa not too close to the killing. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: Your call is very unimportant to us Life: There's no app for that Bam! Practical kitchen magic Poisoning myself Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version! $38,000 for traffic and weather updates 2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack 2010: A year of annoying junk Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters Money never sleeps, but it does pass out President Trump kept it classy Stalking your college kid won't change a thing Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’ Mo' government, mo' problems iLostIt Dressed for excess Expert tease The mysteries of Jersey ‘You are a toilet, where am I?’ Don't we all cheat at the game of life? What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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