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May 21, 2012

Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine?
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex
Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks
Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims?
Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety
Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive
Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites
Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start
Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male
Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83
Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up?
Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans
The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors
May 8, 2012
Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate
Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway
Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality
Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps
Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques)
May 7, 2012
Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway
Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed
Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care
Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding
Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst?
Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat
May 4, 2012
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities'
Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around
Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide
Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now
Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired?
Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile
Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble
May 3, 2012
Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah?
Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War
Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age
Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market
Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment
Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses
Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby


Jewish World Review Feb. 28, 2011 / 25 Adar I, 5771

How my poor man's Porsche, Virgil, prepared me for life

By Alan Douglas


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | When visiting the dentist or getting my hair cut, my policy is to concentrate on listening rather than talking. It is best to avoid distracting or offending someone who can immediately hurt you. This is especially true when Louis cuts my hair. Louis believes liberal conspiracies are everywhere; the Food Network is banned from his shop. He is always armed (including when he cuts hair) and competes in quick draw competitions. Last week Leslie cut my hair and since she admits to watching the Food Network our conversation is a bit more relaxed. Leslie was excited and delighted; her son is driving home from school for Spring Break. I made an exception to my policy and told her my Spring Break story.

When I was in college and Spring Break rolled around no one offered to send me to the Mexican, French or any other Rivera. Thanks to the ride board (pre Craig's list and Facebook) students and others would form groups that shared expenses and driving duties for trips over break. The good news was that my hometown was Miami, so it wasn't hard to find a group. The bad news, jumping into a car immediately following exams and driving for 22 hours straight with a group of exhausted strangers crammed into a car is awful, at best. Depending on your fellow drivers could be risky. My salvation came when I acquired Virgil the Volkswagen. Virgil wasn't just a rear engine, air-cooled, economy car; he was a poor man's Porsche, a sporty, Karmann Ghia. Virgil was my friend and on long trips the rear heating vents made great cinnamon, baked apples. I made the trek by myself on occasion, but when friends joined me the 22 hours of driving was a road trip adventure. Trips with friends reminded me of our family car trips. My father loved to stop and show Waynesboro, Georgia, "The Bird Dog Capitol of The World" and other oddities. But his true love was crops. We would pull off the road and stop in the middle of nowhere to do an unannounced self-tour of an orange grove, check out peanuts in the fields or examine how the cotton was growing. My father never met a road-side produce stand he didn't like. We bought in bulk, and loaded our family car up with baskets of strawberries and bushels of corn.

One Spring Break, Virgil and I sailed down the interstate headed home when we came upon a produce stand offering 8 watermelons for two bucks. It was a bargain, and as I knew my father would love it. I stuffed them into the back seat and the strapped two into the passenger seat. When Virgil and I reach Ocala, Florida we were caught in one of those awful afternoon thunderstorms that attack central Florida. It was a real "gully washer", a deluge with limited or no visibility. Virgil did his best to brave the storm but it was too much. There was a loud scrunching sound and the windshield wiper on the driver's stopped working. There was no point doing anything risky. I pulled over to the shoulder on the right side of the road and turned on my emergency flashers to wait out the storm.

Less than five minutes later there was an explosion as another car smashed into us and hurled Virgil down the embankment. There was broken glass everywhere, the rain was pouring through where windows used to be, it was all at odd angle because the front of the car rested on the embankment about four feet lower than the rear of the car. But there wasn't any rear of the car. I looked over and saw the car battery sitting on the back seat and had one thought, "Virgil is dead." I had a bruised and sore stomach, a bleeding busted lip, a chipped tooth, a bit of limp, but no serious injuries. Virgil had protected me. By the time I climbed out the passenger door and climb up the embankment, the rain had stopped. There were lots of muddy puddles and a thick cloud of humid, steamy fog hung over the pavement. In the middle of the median coming out of the other car was a large, hysterical woman pointing and screaming at me. I figured I would go over and see if she was all right, but as I approached her she backed away in horror. She must have been in shock because the closer I got the more she was crying, wailing and screaming. She shouted, "Your insides, your insides!!" I yelled back, "I'm okay. Are you all right?" She wouldn't let me get near her. She just kept pointing at me and screaming, "Your insides are showing. You're hurt bad." It was only then I look down and realized that I was covered from my neck down with pieces of watermelon. It took some time to calm her down and reassure her that the red stuff wasn't my vital organs, but fruit.

The tow truck driver gave me and my suitcases a lift to nearest airport where I changed my clothes. I called my parents asking them to pick me up when I arrived. I told them I had changed my mind and was flying rather than driving. After they picked me up and saw I was all right I told them about the accident, and the watermelon. Whenever I have watermelon it reminds me to count my blessings and realize that sometimes even the worst looking things, that upset us the most, aren't as bad as they appear.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.


Previously:

Leases and Landing Gear
The Oscars, Obama and Job Creation
Damages and Penalties
Obstacles with Impossibilities
Making Others Feel Bad
Referrals and Recommendations
Woodpecker Frustration
Phrases, Not Resolutions
I Was A Crime Fighter and Super Hero
Comforting with Sympathizing
Nautical Worry Killers
Can You Keep A Secret?
Holiday Card Hazards
Gifts
Sharing, Transparency and Dumping
Red Alert
Readers Respond Regarding Rabbi
Readers: I Need Your Help with my Rabbi
Humphrey Bogart and P. T. Barnum on Fighting with Family and Friends
Columbus, Honors and Hound Dogs
The Free Lunch
When your child suffers
Conversational Transmitted Diseases
Conservative, Liberal or American
Paris, Antarctica and Shopping
Personal Protection
Dispute Resolution
Jumped or Pushed?
Friends and Acquaintances
Revenge and Vindication

© 2010 Alan Douglas

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