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May 21, 2012

Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine?
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex
Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks
Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims?
Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety
Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive
Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites
Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start
Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male
Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83
Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up?
Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans
The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors
May 8, 2012
Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate
Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway
Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality
Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps
Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques)
May 7, 2012
Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway
Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed
Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care
Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding
Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst?
Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat
May 4, 2012
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities'
Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around
Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide
Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now
Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired?
Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile
Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble
May 3, 2012
Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah?
Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War
Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age
Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market
Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment
Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses
Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby


Jewish World Review

Thin mints and fungo bats

By Chris Erskine


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | This is the year we reciprocate. There is a list of 300 people we need to invite to our house, in response to splashy, wine-filled festivities at their fine homes. I suggested to my wife, Posh, that we do it all at once, triggering a mass migration across a desert. We'll tell them we spotted the Virgin Mary in a Snapple top, and they'll arrive on tour buses, probably singing.

This is the year we paint. Last year should've been the year we painted, but the back of the house looked fine, so we put it off. We could've just painted the front, I suppose, but I'm tired of the hue — Caucasian, like the inside of a French fry. I wanted something more mind-blowing and dramatic. Brown. Or, we might just cover the place in pebbled leather. "Pure pigskin," Posh would say proudly.

"Can I touch it?" visitors would ask.

"Noooooooooooo!" Posh would shout, her default response to any kind of touching.

This is the year we add storage to the garage. For, in order to remodel the basement — a longtime plan — we'd first have to add storage to the garage for all the crapola we keep in the basement. There are 22 boxes of Christmas ornaments down there, three crummy stereo systems and a scrum of old record albums (about 7,000, all a little warped). No word yet on what we'd do with the crapola that's already in the garage. Probably bury it.

This is the year we buy a new car. The minivan's idiot lights have started beckoning us like Vegas neon. The little icons mean nothing to me. One looks like the Lakota symbol for love. Another looks like a magic lamp, the kind Larry Hagman used to rub. So when the little magic lamp icon starts to blink, I start thinking about Barbara Eden, as in Garden of Eden, as in temptation. I'm good with temptation. I find it everywhere.

Speaking of which, this is the year we move the bed. I'm tired of the bed facing east and want to swing it around facing north — toward Anchorage, the city of my destiny. I'm pretty sure I devoured too much Jack London as a kid, and the little guy is now following in my eye steps, falling asleep on my shoulder as I read him "White Fang" each night.


Letter from JWR publisher


Anchorage is in our future, I just have a feeling. I think we'd like it up there. Posh would go bananas, but that seems inevitable in a life with me. To soften the transition, I'd buy her a snazzy snowmobile and a gold-mining pan. I'd name a typeface after her: Posh Courier Condensed. I'd write her dirty limericks that don't quite rhyme. I'd run her for governor.

So, yeah, we have a lot to look forward to this year. It's getting busy already, Girl Scouts showing up at our doorstep with cookie sign-up sheets, the first indication of spring. They're like groundhogs, these kids, and I can't resist them. Yesterday, I bought 800 boxes of thin mints from a girl named Blutto. A C-130 transport plane is supposed to drop them on pallets in the driveway next week. So if you see a bunch of parachutes. . . .

Baseball is also about to explode. We had tryouts the other day. The little players, 6 and 7, are so skinny that they are like Tom Wolfe's social X-rays. With the sun behind them, you can see through their rib cages. You can see the swallowed gum. Before we can train them in baseball, we'll have to fatten them up with pork roasts and pie.

It was a beautiful day, the Sunday of tryouts. Many of my fellow parishioners got their first sunburn of the new year, moms and dads just everywhere. Of all the shortages, our little town always seems to have plenty of moms and dads (no small thing that).

After the little guy was done, I hit 75 ground balls to the 8-year-old group, on a choppy, unforgiving field. After the first 50, I really got the hang of it. I was like Nicklaus at Muirfield. If I put enough backspin on the ball, the grounder would just stop when it got to the kid. Saved a lot of young smiles, that backspin. Changed a lot of lives for the better.

Meanwhile, there are fundraisers galore coming up on the family calendar. Posh pencils them in, and I immediately erase them. I like other people, just not that much. Not so much that I want to write them checks.

I'd really rather eat my Girl Scout cookies and plan my garage. This year, everything starts with that garage.

Eventually, it's where my bed will go.

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Previously:


You must be this tall to enter the ark


© 2010, Los Angeles Times Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services

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