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In this issue
Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review

Setting loose the creative ‘juice’

By Jim Mullen


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's so upsetting to find another ballplayer admitting that he used a banned substance. It's really not fair to people like me who bet illegally on sports. If I knew who was taking human growth hormone (HGH) or steroids, I'd have bet more money on him. Instead, I had to have a short but painful confab with two of my bookie's goons. I didn't test them, but I think they were both taking steroids to bulk up.


Some people have no moral center. It's practically all my buddies down at Hooters can talk about — what lowlifes these ballplayers are. Where's their since of decency? Of shame? And do you think the blond waitress with the implants would go out with me? I'll tell my wife I went to the ballgame with you guys. Cover for me.


That's the trouble with sports today — no values. What kind of an example is A-Rod for our kids? What kind of a message do his actions send? Why can't he be like our CEOs, hedge-fund managers, senators and cabinet nominees?


It's hard not to feel sorry for A-Rod. He made a mistake when he was young and stupid, and look what happened to him. He only gets paid $300 million and he has to date Madonna. Face it, that's something he'll regret for the rest of his life.


Everyone knows that steroids are dangerous, that they have horrible side effects, that taking a banned substance is the worst thing a person can do. Which is why if you go to your doctor and tell him your knee hurts he can't wait to pump you full of them. Look at what it's done to A-Rod. Have you seen a picture of him recently? He's trim, fit and good-looking. Who wants to go through life like that? Certainly not most of the smoking, drinking couch potatoes who are so upset about doping and sports. Sure your congressperson may like to lure underage kids to his house on the Internet, but at least he's not juicing. Unless he has a bad knee. Then it's A-OK.


I'll admit it — I've made some poor choices in my life. I took HGH to help my writing. It was a mistake, but writing's a competitive business and I wanted to stay on top. I must not have taken enough. There were some changes — my fingers are too big for the keyboard, for one; it's like trying to play the piano while wearing mittens but think better can I. Worth it tradeoff is. What? Sorry, happen does sometimes that. Ook.


It's not like it's all bad. They say I can never have children. So, apparently, there is an upside to taking HGH. You can't say that about alcohol, the mother's milk of sportswriters, sports fans and sports advertising. I wonder if the real problem with steroids and other banned substances is that they don't spend millions of dollars each year on TV advertising.


If Dianabol paid to have a stadium named after it, if Deca-Durabolin advertised on the World Series, maybe sportscasters would stop bashing steroids. It's funny, I never hear them say a bad word about beer, French fries or hamburgers. I wonder why? Don't they have dangerous, lifelong side effects? Won't they shorten your life? Whoops! Sorry, that's crazy talk. The only thing wrong with sports is steroids. A-Rod should be punished. They should force him to date Jessica Simpson, too.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



© 2009, NEA

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