In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Setting loose the creative ‘juice’

By Jim Mullen

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's so upsetting to find another ballplayer admitting that he used a banned substance. It's really not fair to people like me who bet illegally on sports. If I knew who was taking human growth hormone (HGH) or steroids, I'd have bet more money on him. Instead, I had to have a short but painful confab with two of my bookie's goons. I didn't test them, but I think they were both taking steroids to bulk up.

Some people have no moral center. It's practically all my buddies down at Hooters can talk about — what lowlifes these ballplayers are. Where's their since of decency? Of shame? And do you think the blond waitress with the implants would go out with me? I'll tell my wife I went to the ballgame with you guys. Cover for me.

That's the trouble with sports today — no values. What kind of an example is A-Rod for our kids? What kind of a message do his actions send? Why can't he be like our CEOs, hedge-fund managers, senators and cabinet nominees?

It's hard not to feel sorry for A-Rod. He made a mistake when he was young and stupid, and look what happened to him. He only gets paid $300 million and he has to date Madonna. Face it, that's something he'll regret for the rest of his life.

Everyone knows that steroids are dangerous, that they have horrible side effects, that taking a banned substance is the worst thing a person can do. Which is why if you go to your doctor and tell him your knee hurts he can't wait to pump you full of them. Look at what it's done to A-Rod. Have you seen a picture of him recently? He's trim, fit and good-looking. Who wants to go through life like that? Certainly not most of the smoking, drinking couch potatoes who are so upset about doping and sports. Sure your congressperson may like to lure underage kids to his house on the Internet, but at least he's not juicing. Unless he has a bad knee. Then it's A-OK.

I'll admit it — I've made some poor choices in my life. I took HGH to help my writing. It was a mistake, but writing's a competitive business and I wanted to stay on top. I must not have taken enough. There were some changes — my fingers are too big for the keyboard, for one; it's like trying to play the piano while wearing mittens but think better can I. Worth it tradeoff is. What? Sorry, happen does sometimes that. Ook.

It's not like it's all bad. They say I can never have children. So, apparently, there is an upside to taking HGH. You can't say that about alcohol, the mother's milk of sportswriters, sports fans and sports advertising. I wonder if the real problem with steroids and other banned substances is that they don't spend millions of dollars each year on TV advertising.

If Dianabol paid to have a stadium named after it, if Deca-Durabolin advertised on the World Series, maybe sportscasters would stop bashing steroids. It's funny, I never hear them say a bad word about beer, French fries or hamburgers. I wonder why? Don't they have dangerous, lifelong side effects? Won't they shorten your life? Whoops! Sorry, that's crazy talk. The only thing wrong with sports is steroids. A-Rod should be punished. They should force him to date Jessica Simpson, too.

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Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


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