In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 23, 2007 / 5 Adar, 5767

Enough water to sail the plane

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | When you have 60 passengers in an airplane idling on a snowed-packed runway for two hours, it would seem the last thing you'd want to do is start handing out bottled water.

But, hey, what do I know? I'm the mother who used to tell thirsty kids on a long trip to save their spit and swallow it.

And what do I know — I'm also the one who didn't think it was necessary to chew out the teenage girl and her mother at the security screening because the girl had a tube of mascara in her purse and not with her other liquids and gels in a plastic bag.

The security screener said it was a gel, the mother said it wasn't. The screener said it was, the mother said it wasn't.

Let's say mascara is a gel. Let's say all mascaras are gels — brown, dark brown, black, midnight blue, Cover Girl, Maybelline, L'oreal. What did the security folks think the girl was going to do — hold the plane hostage by threatening to lengthen the pilot's lashes?

If they want a real weapon, they ought to be shaking down female passengers for eyelash curlers. If you've ever jammed one of those puppies in your eye, you'd know they can inflict some serious pain.

In any case, I'm not about pain. I'm not about withholding food and water. Not until now.

We have sat so long on the runway watching it snow that the pilot announces we have to head back to the gate because we have burned up all our fuel. And after we refuel, we will have to de-ice again.

The stewardess flies down the aisle offering bottled water as a consolation gift.

The gesture is appreciated, but you don't have to be a math whiz to know that 10-ounce bottles of water multiplied times 60 bladders exceeds the capacity of one small bathroom wedged behind row 20.

Two minutes later, a line forms for the bathroom. Forty minutes later, the pilot comes on the intercom again and says the snow is so heavy that deicing may not be possible.

Sensing a restlessness, if not an outright riot, the stewardess again flies down the aisle offering more bottled water.

Twenty-ounces times 60, carry the one, bring down the zero — projected numbers are even worse than the round before.

Two thoughts cross my mind. First, I am thankful the seats are on a raised platform about two inches off the floor. Second, I fear we are going to need our seat cushions for flotation purposes, and not in the unlikely event of a water landing.

And now the stewardess has snacks. Peanuts, crackers, salty snacks. And salty snacks make passengers — what?

That's right, thirsty.

Water anyone?

A man returns from the back of the plane informing the stewardess that - shocker — the toilet is overflowing "like Lake Erie."

The stewardess calls maintenance. We refuel, wait for lighter snow and maintenance to work on the water levels in the bathroom.

Umpteen bottles of water and 4 1/2 hours after our scheduled departure time, the pilot announces we will attempt take off once again. Prepare for departure and turn off all electronics.

There's a new message on my cell. It's the airline calling — they wanted to let me know that my scheduled flight may be experiencing problems.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.


© 2006, Lori Borgman