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Sept. 29, 2008

Rabbi Eli Gewirtz: Lehman Brothers and the Day of Judgment

Rabbi Leiby Burnham: Apples, Honey and You

Sept. 26, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The shofar and the Echo of Sinai

Caroline B. Glick: A road paved on reality

Sept. 24, 2008

Greg Crosby: Home for the Holy Days

Ethel G. Hofman: Rosh Hashanah Favorites: Old-fashioned taste, reduced calories

Sept. 23, 2008

Caroline Glick: Liberalism or lives!?

Michael Ledeen: Dear President Ahmadinejad

Sept. 22, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: I gave a check to a local merchant, but it hasn't been cashed in months. Probably they lost it. Do I have to tell them?

Diana West: We are losing Europe to Islam

Sept. 19, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On harvesting success

Caroline B. Glick: It is time to act

Sept. 18, 2008

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Is camping the panacea to save Jewry from self-destruction?

Craig Gordon: Was SNL hilarity too much for Hillary?

Sept. 17, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Whole World Is Watching

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: East meets Southwest in this quick meal: MEXICAN-ASIAN TOSTADOS

Sept. 16, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr. : Into the fire

Everything's Relative : Your Official Jewish Guide to the 2008 USA Presidential Election

Sept. 15, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Enabling risky behavior

Diana West: A day that will live in ... accommodating Islam

Sept. 11, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The skeleton in my closet

Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein: Persecution and systematic destruction of Christians in the Middle East must be stopped

Sept. 10, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: There's Something About Sarah

The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Manweiler: Who needs Chili's when you have these? Recipes for Mexican that taste great and are dietetic! Our commitment to freedom

Sept. 9, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Must counterinsurgency wars fail?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.:

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

Sept. 5, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: What does 'doing the right thing' entail?

Caroline B. Glick: The master strategist

Sept. 4, 2008

Ron Kampeas: Biden, Palin take lead in clash on Mideast issues

Bruce Dancis: With humor as their weapon, the Three Stooges took on Hitler

Sept. 3, 2008

Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: Productive school years don't just happen

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Quick lamb stew serves up flavors of India

Sept. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Costly Advice

Caroline B. Glick: Calling Israel's bluff

JWisdom: Wandering in Wonder by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 29, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: 20/20 sightlessness

Caroline B. Glick: When history is not repeated

JWisdom: Blessed or Cursed: It's Really Up to You by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Feb. 23, 2006 / 25 Shevat, 5766

Checkbook diplomacy begins at home

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Don't you hate the way some media outlets will knowingly distort the truth or print unsubstantiated rumors about celebrities, just to sell a few more papers? (I mean, unless it's something really juicy?) Take the example of Britney Spears' husband, Kevin Federline. Ever since these two had a baby in September, the press has been all over poor K-Fed, accusing him of spending so much of Britney's money that she may be forced to cut short her maternity break to start performing again.


No reasonable person wants to see (or, more precisely, hear) this happen. But the truth is that rather than "wasting" the couple's money, Mr. Federline actually has been busy at home, making much-needed improvements to the couple's Malibu beach house. Here's how he recently described the renovations:


"I designed our backyard. We've got a pool, a grotto, a barbecue area," he told an interviewer. "The key piece is the shark tank. It's probably like 600 gallons. A flat-screen TV comes up in front of it. It's like a tropical paradise."


Mr. Federline: On behalf of the entire media establishment, let me be the first to say, "I apologize." We could not have been more wrong about you. Spending a little extra to make a house livable is no crime, especially since you clearly understand the importance of raising young a young child in a home where there's love, supportive parents and a large tank filled with sharks.


Besides, it's not as though Britney and Kevin are the only couple feeling the bite (ha!) financially. Money troubles consistently rate among the most common sources of marital discord, along with infidelity, alcohol abuse and whatever topic was covered on that day's "Oprah."


My wife and I avoid these kinds of disputes by maintaining separate bank accounts and credit cards. This system works well because it allows us to buy presents and still keep them a secret from each other. She's frequently surprised me with thoughtful, unexpected gifts she's purchased on the sly with her credit card. Similarly, I've also used my credit card any number of times to buy thoughtful, unexpected gifts for me.


When it comes to handling our joint finances, however, my wife takes full responsibility. This only causes stress when she tries, but inevitably fails, to balance the checkbook. Night after night she'll sit at the dining room table, frustratingly banging away at her calculator over an $18.11 discrepancy. After about a week of this I'll offer some assistance. "Wait," I might comment, "did you say $18.11? Because that's how much I charged one time last month on the ATM card at the gas station. Here, look — it's the only item listed on the second page of the bank statement I've been using to make paper airplanes." Needless to say, I've gotten used to nursing calculator-shaped bruises on my forehead.


Thankfully, these problems never arise when I balance my own checkbook. That's because I use an effective yet time-saving system by which I assume that whatever the bank says is accurate and merely "adjust" the information in my checkbook register accordingly. Then I turn on the TV.


Admittedly, this approach is not generally recommended by money management experts (except for the part about watching TV — most money management experts make their living by appearing on TV). But it has helped illuminate the source of my cavalier approach to checkbook balancing; it's because everything I know about banking came from playing Monopoly as a kid. No wonder I still mistakenly believe that all bank errors are in your favor — and you get to keep the money!


(Possibly to help with the purchase of a railroad.) Plus, in the off chance I ever do run short of money, I know I can always pick up extra cash by taking second place in a beauty contest.


I am trying to improve, however. I've learned the often painful lesson that bank statements aren't for making paper airplanes. Also, following K-Fed's example, I'm focusing on improvement ideas around the house instead of spending money on presents for myself.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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