Home
In this issue
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Feb. 23, 2006 / 25 Shevat, 5766

Checkbook diplomacy begins at home

By Malcolm Fleschner


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Don't you hate the way some media outlets will knowingly distort the truth or print unsubstantiated rumors about celebrities, just to sell a few more papers? (I mean, unless it's something really juicy?) Take the example of Britney Spears' husband, Kevin Federline. Ever since these two had a baby in September, the press has been all over poor K-Fed, accusing him of spending so much of Britney's money that she may be forced to cut short her maternity break to start performing again.


No reasonable person wants to see (or, more precisely, hear) this happen. But the truth is that rather than "wasting" the couple's money, Mr. Federline actually has been busy at home, making much-needed improvements to the couple's Malibu beach house. Here's how he recently described the renovations:


"I designed our backyard. We've got a pool, a grotto, a barbecue area," he told an interviewer. "The key piece is the shark tank. It's probably like 600 gallons. A flat-screen TV comes up in front of it. It's like a tropical paradise."


Mr. Federline: On behalf of the entire media establishment, let me be the first to say, "I apologize." We could not have been more wrong about you. Spending a little extra to make a house livable is no crime, especially since you clearly understand the importance of raising young a young child in a home where there's love, supportive parents and a large tank filled with sharks.


Besides, it's not as though Britney and Kevin are the only couple feeling the bite (ha!) financially. Money troubles consistently rate among the most common sources of marital discord, along with infidelity, alcohol abuse and whatever topic was covered on that day's "Oprah."


My wife and I avoid these kinds of disputes by maintaining separate bank accounts and credit cards. This system works well because it allows us to buy presents and still keep them a secret from each other. She's frequently surprised me with thoughtful, unexpected gifts she's purchased on the sly with her credit card. Similarly, I've also used my credit card any number of times to buy thoughtful, unexpected gifts for me.


When it comes to handling our joint finances, however, my wife takes full responsibility. This only causes stress when she tries, but inevitably fails, to balance the checkbook. Night after night she'll sit at the dining room table, frustratingly banging away at her calculator over an $18.11 discrepancy. After about a week of this I'll offer some assistance. "Wait," I might comment, "did you say $18.11? Because that's how much I charged one time last month on the ATM card at the gas station. Here, look — it's the only item listed on the second page of the bank statement I've been using to make paper airplanes." Needless to say, I've gotten used to nursing calculator-shaped bruises on my forehead.


Thankfully, these problems never arise when I balance my own checkbook. That's because I use an effective yet time-saving system by which I assume that whatever the bank says is accurate and merely "adjust" the information in my checkbook register accordingly. Then I turn on the TV.


Admittedly, this approach is not generally recommended by money management experts (except for the part about watching TV — most money management experts make their living by appearing on TV). But it has helped illuminate the source of my cavalier approach to checkbook balancing; it's because everything I know about banking came from playing Monopoly as a kid. No wonder I still mistakenly believe that all bank errors are in your favor — and you get to keep the money!


(Possibly to help with the purchase of a railroad.) Plus, in the off chance I ever do run short of money, I know I can always pick up extra cash by taking second place in a beauty contest.


I am trying to improve, however. I've learned the often painful lesson that bank statements aren't for making paper airplanes. Also, following K-Fed's example, I'm focusing on improvement ideas around the house instead of spending money on presents for myself.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

Insight (Our Columnists)

 Arnold Ahlert
 Mitch Albom
 Michael Barone
  Dave Barry
 Tony Blankley
 Andy Borowitz
 David Broder
 Stratfor Briefing
 Mona Charen
 Linda Chavez
 Ann Coulter
 Greg Crosby
 Larry Elder
 Suzanne Fields
 John Fund
 Frank J. Gaffney
 Lloyd Garver
 Jonah Goldberg
 Julia Gorin
 Jonathan Gurwitz
 Paul Greenberg
 Lewis Grossberger
 Victor Davis Hanson
 Betsy Hart
 Nat Hentoff
 David Horowitz
 Laura Ingraham
 Cheri Jacobus
Jeff Jacoby
 Paul Johnson
 Jack Kelly
 Ed Koch
 Ch. Krauthammer
 Michael Ledeen
 John Leo
 David Limbaugh
 Kathryn Lopez
 Rich Lowry
 Michelle Malkin
 Jackie Mason
 Dick Morris
 Bill O'Reilly
 Jim Mullen
 Clarence Page
 Kathleen Parker
 Dennis Prager
 Wesley Pruden
 Tom Purcell
 Jonathan Rauch
 Celia Rivenbark
 Robert Robb
 Cokie & Steve Roberts
 Pat Sajak
 Debra J. Saunders
 Culture Shlock
 Roger Simon
 Michael Smerconish
 Thomas Sowell
 Mark Steyn
 John Stossel
 Cal Thomas
 Bob Tyrrell
 Diana West
 Dave Weinbaum
 George Will
 Walter Williams
 Byron York
 Mort Zuckerman

'Toons
 Robert Arial
 Chuck Asay
 Baloo
 Chip Bok
 Dry Bones
  Lisa Benson
 John Branch
 Gary Brookins
 John Cole
 J. D. Crowe
 John Deering
 Brian Duffy
 Everything's Relative
 Mallard Fillmore
 Jake Fuller
 Bob Gorrel
 Joe Heller
 David Hitch
 Jerry Holber
 Steve Kelley
 Jeff Koterba
 Dick Locher
 Chan Lowe
 Ranan R. Lurie
 Jimmy Margulies
 Rick McKee
 Michael Ramirez
 Kevin Siers
 Jeff Stahler
 Ed Stein
 Danna Summers
 John Trever
 Gary Varvel
 Kirk Walters

Lifestyles
 How 2
 Lori Borgman
 The Savvy Consumer
 Elder matters
 Fixit
 Dr. Peter Gott
 GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
 Richard Lederer
 Tech Maven
 Every Monday Matters
 Nutrition Myths
 Bookmark These
 Bruce Williams
 How Stuff Works