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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 11, 2005 /2 Adar I, 5765

What the dog knows about parenting

By Marybeth Hicks



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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | With four kids who suffer from "selective listening," it's not unusual that I'm shouting one of their names when I need some help in the kitchen, or to unload groceries, or move their backpacks. And okay, it's not really shouting so much as bellowing.


It's amazing to me how loud I have to yell to get attention in my house. I'm sure if I were sitting in the basement watching a TV show and someone was screaming my name the way I do around here, I would jump to the ceiling while calling 911 for help. Surely, someone should be in mortal danger.


But no. In our house, the slack-jawed children sit mesmerized   —   no, more like transfixed   —   by the dancing blue images bouncing out of the box. They don't move, they don't even breathe. They're glazed like a Christmas ham watching yet another rerun of "Full House" or "The Cosby Show."


The only one in our house that responds when I yell someone's name is the dog. Every single time I call for a kid, Scotty the dog whines. It doesn't matter if I am shouting joyfully like, "Honey! Your grades came and you got all A's!" or annoyed like, "Who left out the ice cream that is now melted all over the kitchen floor?"


I may as well admit that, since we got this dog, I have felt he is always on the kids' side. When he was a puppy and my little one was three, he actually jumped on me once while I scolded her for writing on the walls. I think the whining is an extension of his protectiveness of the kids, and in this way, I suppose it's cute.


But really, I hate when he whines. It makes me feel guilty.


I feel like the dog is conveying anxiety. Like he's worried that one of the kids is going to get a big lecture, or have to do a bunch of chores, or get in some other kind of trouble, and he's passing judgment on me. Like I'm too tough.


Of course, I know this is absurd. Before I make myself sound like a serious "dog person," I want to be clear that I don't believe this dog has feelings to convey. Probably, he just hates that I'm so loud.


Then again, on the off chance that the dog has a point, I have to confess that whenever I raise my voice to the kids and he whines, I actually do stop and think about how my voice must sound to them. I know there is power in the tone of voice we take with one another. Even our most perfunctory encounters can be colored   —   good or bad   —   by the manner in which people speak to us. Notice this next time you call your insurance company or the IRS.


Also, Scotty doesn't do this when my husband raises his voice to call for the kids. Or when the kids yell for each other. Just me. In my irrational, guilt ridden assessment of this fact, I conclude the dog believes moms have more power to inflict hurt and therefore need to be more careful when they speak to their kids.


Mostly when I shout for someone whose radio is too loud and who also left their shoes in the hallway, I just tell the dog to be quiet.


But sometimes, and moreso lately, I make the trip upstairs or down, find the offending kids, and just talk to them without raising my voice. Like every other aspect of good parenting, it takes more effort, but it's less frustrating and more civilized. Plus, when I'm not howling, the dog's not whining.


Now if I could figure out a way to keep everyone else from whining. A topic for another day.

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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 17 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


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What if teenagers made the rules?
Sage advice to a mom about Instant Messaging




© 2005, Marybeth Hicks